In his interview with Empire Magazine, Christopher Nolan, director of Batman Begins and The Dark Knight, unhesitatingly stated that the Joker will not be in Batman 3 or any other subsequent Batman film while he is at the helm of the Bats. He stated, “I just don’t feel comfortable talking about it.” … I think they forgot to put a big, “WAAAAAAA!” at the end of his statement. Cry me a river Nolan.
.. First of all… It’s ridiculous that Joker isn’t going to be in any of the future Batman movies. WTH!? Just because Nolan lost a friend, that we all loved and cherished and exalted over his performance as the Joker in Dark Knight, he now feels bad about putting in another Joker??? Well, what about us Batman loving fans who are expected to now fork over goddamn $15 per ticket that’s ultimately going to be in an overpriced 3D format?? No Joker?? Gimme a break.
Get over it Nolan. This isn’t about you and your feelings and your… “I miss Heath and it would be dishonorable blah blah blah, yaddy yaddy yaddy…” Give me a friggin’ break. It’s THE JOKER MAN!! This isn’t about you and it’s certainly not about honoring Heath either. It’s about putting together a believable movie about The Goddamn Batman which includes plausible story lines that involve Bats’ rogue gallery, including the Joker, in an enjoyable, tense, dark and wicked superhero movie that will entertain the living shit out of all of us. You don’t get it… Joker never dies, NEVER! (… Kingdom Come aside)
The Joker gives Batman meaning… “completes” Bats. What’s Nolan going to give us? Are we going to see Mad Hatter, or maybe… Calendar Man? ooooo, that’s a supervillain if I’ve ever seen one. What about, Penguin or…… I know!!!… How about THE VENTRILOQUIST?! You know.. the psycho guy with the sock puppet that shoots better than most Army Rangers?
The Ventriloquist!... Oh Boy!
There are plenty of ways that Joker could be depicted.. I can’t think of any right now, but I’m also not incentivized with a million bucks pointed at me. All I care about is that I’M NOT GOING TO SEE THE JOKER and I, and every geek out there who’s reading this post, deserves to see better. It’s like… like back in high school where a girl breaks up with a boy and tells ALLLLL of her girlfriends, “I’m done with him! I’m never seeing him again… but none of you can see him either!” What, just because his heart’s broken he now has the audacity to inject his wallowing pity and sorrow into my Batman film? And everyone just rolls over and doesn’t say anything in honor of Heath.
Yeah, we love Heath. Yeah Heath nailed the Joker. And yeah, nobody can fill his shoes, but life goes on. We’ve had like… what… four different Batmen? And two Supermen so far, with a third on his way? let’s get real, life goes on and when Nolan is well on his way to filming some other film five years down the road, we’ll look back and think, “GODDAMNIT, we should have been given the Joker instead of the Ventriliquist or Penguin or Riddler or even Calendar Man!
Regarding Superman, Nolan went on to say,
“…What it is, while David Goyer and myself were putting together the story for another Batman film a few years ago, you know thrashing out where we might move on from the Dark Knight, we got stuck. We were just sitting there idly chatting and he said ”by the way, I think know how you approach Superman”.. and he told me his take on it.
I thought it was really tremendous. It was the first time I’ve been able to conceive of how you’d address Superman in a modern context I thought it was a really exciting idea. What you have to remember about Batman and Superman is that what makes them the best superhero characters there are, the most beloved after all this time, is the essence of who they were when they were created, when they were first developed. You can’t move too far away from that.”
…. This better be good! I don’t want to see anymore Gay Undies Calvin Klein Superman model in skivies up on my silver screen damnit!
Honor the goddamn comic universe Nolan! And get over your self pity.
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We mentioned before that Dunst and Toby were getting booted, along with Sam Raimi, and that the Spidey franchise was getting rebooted. Well, it looks like Marvel and Sony got themselves a new (old) writer!
Alvin Sargent, screen writer for the original Spider-Man movie series, has signed on to ruin what the reboot was designed to save in the first place. Why do I say that? … cause he’s one of the same friggin’ writers who ruined the initial Spider-Man movies in the first place!! That’s why. Come on people. It doesn’t take much to realize that the written story is what makes the movie, given that you have decent talent to act the parts, but no amount of great acting will save a film from ruin if the writing just sucks Mcnuggets!
Word on the street is that it will be “more emotionally anchored and realistic than the previous movies.” …. What in the HAIL does that mean? … More emotionally anchored? Does that mean we won’t see emo-Peter dancing in bars? Or crying? (please god NO!).
More realistic? … Look, there’s two types of reality in superhero movies; the reality that allows us to suspend our disbelief, like a man flying or climbing walls or actually doing something to stop criminals, and then there’s the stupid reality that stupid writers dream up that would never work in real life, like… Superman fighting a radioactive bad guy on the moon, or Richard Prior going to computer night school and hacking into anything with a keyboard, or even something closer to home, like a guy in face paint forcing the mayor to lock down the city so nobody leaves or enters… for their own safety. (Gasp, did I just criticize Heath Ledger and the Dark Knight? Sacrilege!)
So, god-only-knows what “emotionally anchored” and “realistic” means with these guys. This all came from the Hollywood Reporter by the way. They also said that, “Peter Parker will be a 17-year-old high school kid struggling with shifting hormones and an outsider status.” Ok, aside from the shifting hormones, the “outsider status” is right on point, with respect to the original story. You can read (and then buy) the digital comic here at Marvel if you’re interested in catching a glimpse of history. Just click on the “play” button.
So, sure Sargent has a writing resume a mile long. So what! Did that stop George Lucas or Steven Spielberg from ruining my life? Look, if he was part of the problem back then, I highly doubt that he’ll be rebooting the franchise to a great start. But, I hope I’m wrong. Also, Marc Webb — the director of “(500) Days of Summer” — is supposed to be directing, but still no word on who’s playing emo Peter.
… and oh! It’s going to be made in 3D. Mother F#@!$##$@^. We went to go see Clash of the Titans couple weeks ago. The ticket guy said, “That’ll be $27 dollars.” I said, “No, only two tickets… two!” He responded, “…. uh huh… $27 dollars.” Forgetting that I had mastered basic subtraction, addition and even division back in Mrs. Morrison’s 5th grade class a bajillion years ago, I quickly asked, “…er… how much is each ticket?” He looks at the screen and says, “$13.50.” My only appropriate response was to put my card back in my wallet, which went back in my pants, and said, “We’re not paying that.” My wife and I then went to rent Inglorious Bastards and something else that I don’t recall, .. think it was foreign. So, No, I won’t be paying $13.50 for a 3D movie when a perfectly good 2D movie was perfectly good 6 months ago. It was even perfectly good for Avatar.
The Little Orphan Annie newspaper comic strip (Created by Harold Gray in 1924), which ran for 86 years, will end on June 13th. The comic was considered controversial in its time, peaking in popularity in the ’30s and long after Gray’s death in 1968. Sadly, the once popular comic which made its fame initially with stories of adventure and intrigue and eventually strips focusing on modern day political issues, is now ending with a depressing ending as fewer than 20 newspapers are currently syndicating the once beloved comic strip; some like the New York Daily News, had carried the strip for its entire life.
For those of you under 50, who have no idea who Li’l Orphan Annie is; she was the ever positive, moppy red headed girl in a red dress who was most recognized for her pupil-less vacant eyes. Her only friends were her disheveled, little doll Emily Marie and her scraggly dog Sandy, which was brought into the strip at a later point. Sandy also had the pupiless eyes.
Oliver (Daddy) Warbucks
She escaped from a Dickensian orphanage (reference to Charles Dickens, the popular English novelist of the Victorian era who created A Christmas Carol and Oliver Twist) and eventually met, in 1925, Oliver Warbucks, an idealized capitalist who took her under his wing, insisting that she call him “Daddy,” hence the term, “Daddy Warbucks.”
Warbucks was bald and always wore a tuxedo with a diamond a stickpin in the middle of his white shirt. Ever the penultimate businessman, he was gruff and earned his money through hard work, believing in fair play as well as fair pay. He was known for paying his employees well, winning him the devotion of all of his servants and workers alike.
Punjab
Warbucks’ had three “right hand men” were; Punjab, an eight-foot native of India, The Asp, an East Asian man-servant with mystical powers and the mysterious Mister Am, a jovial, white bearded friend of Warbuck’s who had supernatural powers and claimed to have lived for millions of years… Some strips even hinted that he may might have even been God. *gasp!*
Punjab In Action: Sim Sim Salabim!
The comic strip was known for its push of the “old-fashioned” values of honesty and hard work… stuff that you Xbox and Twitter generation know nothing about. At first, through the 1920s, the comic was humorous, focusing on slapstick humor, aimed primarily at children. They then became more adventurous, placing Annie in precarious, dangerous predicaments, often needing rescuing by Warbucks or one of his manservants.
Little Orphan Annie Comic Strip
In the early 1930s, as the depression was taking hold, recognizing that many adults were now reading the strip, Gray left the adventure stories and became more politicized. Gray was well known for his hatred of labor unions, as was depicted in his 1935 story “Eonite,” a miraculous metal which was to be the answer to all of humanity’s problems. This story, in particular, resulted in continuous attacks from the liberal left for his anti-union views. Other targets in Gray’s scope were the New Deal and communism, further perpetuating the left’s anger towards his views and writings. He was viewed as either conservative or libertarian with a populist streak, while creating stories that looked into the darker aspects of human nature, such as greed and treachery where Annie would come across gangsters, killers, spies and saboteurs.
Little Orphan Annie Comic Strip
Gray would weave stories around real life political issues, such as the gap between rich and poor, glorifying the honest American business ethic while presenting Warbucks as someone who hated snobbery and laziness. Interestingly though, despite the Gray’s pro-capitalist slant, the Annie stript consistantly portrayed corrupt businessmen as the main villains.
Gray’s venture into politicizing Annie went on into World War II where he used the Annie strip to motivate kids across the U.S. to create groups of “Junior Commandos” that collected tons of scrap metal and paper for the war effort, which, unfortunately included TONS of Golden Age comic books.
After Gray’s death in 1968, Annie declined in popularity until the Broadway musical “Annie” hit the stage in 1979. But as new artists took to drawing Annie, the comic strip continued to decline in popularity. June 13th will be their last publication. I hope all of you get a chance to see the last created strip of a cherished American relic.
Harold Gray - Died 1968
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You HAVE GOT to see this. CollegeHumor.com has done it again. They’ve captured the perfect perspective that’s perpetually ongoing towards the out of touch movie makers that manage to get their hands on superheroes, ruining franchises all for god knows what. You can catch this beautiful caustic satire (or is it parody?) of Hollywoods flub up of Spider-Man here at CollegeHumor.com. If only we had real life superhero-movie-damage-control-doctors like this.
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Some highly anticipated Upcoming Superhero Movies are coming out 2010, 2011 and 2012. This is an ongoing movie blog list that will be updated on a regular basis, so bookmark this page and keep checking back to get the quick rundown on what’s around the corner. And let us know of any cool movies we forgot to list.
2010
Scott Pilgrim VS The World - Aug 13: Based on the comic book series Scott Pilgrim by Bryan Lee O’Malley. Directed by Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz and TV series Spaced) and stars Michael Cera (the eternally youthful, puppy dog faced kid from Arrested Development, Superbad, and Juno) and Mary Elizabeth Winstead (Grindhouse: Death Proof, Live Free or Die Hard, Final Destination 3).”Scott Pilgrim, bass guitarist for the garage band Sex Bob-omb, has just met the girl of his dreams. However, he must defeat Ramona Flowers’ seven evil exes, who are coming to kill him…As Scott gets closer to Ramona, he must face an increasingly vicious rogues’ gallery from her past, from infamous skateboarders to vegan rock stars and fearsomely identical twins. And if he hopes to win his true love, he must vanquish them all before it really is game over.” — statement from the official film website. If you liked Kick-Ass, then this is a must see. We’re definitely going!
Tron Legacy - December 17: Staring Jeff Bridges (The Men Who Stare at Goats, Iron Man, Tron), Garrett Hedlund, Olivia Wilde, Bruce Boxleitner, James Frain, Beau Garrett and Michael Sheen (30 Rock, Underworld: Rise of the Lycans). Tron came out in 1982, produced by Walt Disney, starred a much younger Jeff Bridges who plays Kevin Flynn, a software engineer who works for ENCOM where a security program, “Tron,” goes rogue placing a digitized Flynn into the Mainframe, where he’s been for the past 25 years.In Tron Legacy, Jeff Bridges reprises his role as Kevin Flynn and Garrett Hedlund portrays Flynn’s now-adult son, Sam. At over 28 years, Tron Legacy marks the longest gap between a live-action film and its sequel in cinematic history. Sam Flynn, the tech-savvy 27-year-old son of Kevin Flynn, looks into the disappearance of his father and finds himself pulled into the same world of sociopathic gladiatorial gaming programs where his father has been living for 25 years. He and his father embark on a life-and-death journey across a visually-stunning cyber universe that is as advanced as it is lethal. I still have to see the first Tron, but this is going to be a blast. I can’t wait to go see it.
…
2011
Green Hornet - Jan 14: Directed by Michel Gondry (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Be Kind Rewind) Seth Rogen (Pineapple Express, Superbad)as Britt Reid/The Green Hornet. Jay Chou as Kato: The Green Hornet’s Asian valet and martial artist sidekick. The newspaper publisher and his valet moonlight as a dynamic duo to fight crime, specifically a gangster villain that will attempt to join all of the mafias of Los Angeles together to form a “super-mafia.” Seth Rogen better not muck this film up. The Green Hornet was campy, at best, but Bruce Lee the once living legend made it larger than life. Rogen’s popular with the counter culture crowd, making slackerdom and dope now a cultural mainstay, is great as dude-comedy, but let’s hope he doesn’t ruin the one chance this movie has of making a hit.
THOR - May 6 -3D and 2D: Directed by Kenneth Branagh. Below, the Los Angeles Times came out with this new photo from Marvel Studios’ Thor. Chris Hemsworth (Cpt. Kirk’s father in recent Star Trek movie) is Thor, seen kneeling before Odin (Anthony Hopkins) as Loki (Tom Hiddleston: Magnus Martinsson in Wallander), left, looks on. Also stars Natalie Portman, Stellan Skarsgard, Jaimie Alexander, Kat Dennings, Ray Stevenson, Idris Elba, Clark Gregg and Colm Feore.Thor, son of Odin, is an arrogant, reckless warrior whose actions reignite an ancient war between the Asgardians and .. (the frost giants?). Thor is punished, banished, cast down to Midgard (Earth, whereas the gods live in Asgard) where the trash hang out, by his father Odin and is forced to live among us humans (yuk). A beautiful, young scientist, Jane Foster (Natalie Portman rawrrrr), is the love interest here. But she isn’t wearing the young Catholic girl outfit she wore in “V.” Extremely excited to see!
Odin (Anthony Hopkins, Thor (Chris Hemsworth), and Loki (Tom Hiddleston)
Thor Kneeling Before Odin - Loki Watches
X-MEN: FIRST CLASS- June 3: BRYAN SINGER (director X-Men & X2) AND Kick-Ass director MATTHEW VAUGHN plan on creating a movie based on the beginning of the classic X-Men comic mythology. Before there was Professor X and Magneto, Charles Xavier and Erik Lensherr were young men discovering their mutant powers for the first time. Before they became archenemies, they were the best of friends, working together, with other mutants, to stop the greatest threat the world has ever known. … I don’t know, this has a really big chance of ending up really stupid. 70% chance of these guys forcing this thing hoping to ride the mutant cash train instead of relying on a real story. I hope I’m wrong.
Green Lantern- June 17: From the cover of the new issue of Entertainment Weekly, “Ryan Reynolds stars as Hal Jordan, a cocky test pilot who becomes a ring-wearing intergalactic superhero in this massive sci-fi epic from director Martin Campbell (Casino Royale). Though Reynolds has prior experience in the superhero realm from his role as Deadpool in X-Men Origins: Wolverine, playing Green Lantern involved some major challenges, like getting hurled through the air on a wire at up to 60 feet per second to create the illusion of flight. “The first time you do it, you’re seriously considering an adult diaper,” Reynolds says. Still, he couldn’t resist the chance to play the beloved DC Comics hero, whose power ring can conjure virtually anything he can dream up. “Will and imagination are his superpowers,” Reynolds says. “We need a circus of Timothy Learys to think of things Hal would invent with his ring.”” .. Super Extremely excited to see… but the costume sucks eggs! COME ON! You tell me he doesn’t look like Will Ferrell! That IS NOT the GL costume we have come to expect, and that mask sucks!
Will Ferrell Is Green Lantern
Transformers 3 - July 1:… WAS extremely excited to see Megan Fox! AGAIN! But she just pulled out. DAMNIT! Word on the street is Tobey Maguire will be taking her place. Let’s hope they don’t ruin the franchise with the 3rd movie.
Cowboys & Aliens - July 29:… meh… have to read up on it first.
“Contact the mayor’s office, he has a special signal he shines in the sky—it’s in the shape of a giant cock.” - Hit Girl.
GOD I LOVED THIS MOVIE! It puts all of the “legitimate” superhero movies to shame. This low budget movie is successful on so many freakin’ levels, I don’t even know where to start. … regardless, I’ll attempt to explain what the Kick-Ass is about while weaving in the cast, social implications and awesome fight scenes, finishing off with, “Why this movie is so goddamn awesome I can’t wait to take my 17 year old daughter to see it.”
Kick-Ass Poster
This movie is perfect. Yeah, I said it…”perfect!” in the sense that it comes face-to-face with the question we all think about, which is “why don’t everyday people have the balls to get involved, to do the right thing when it comes to helping other people who are in need of help?” We all would like to be a superhero, but “Super” or not, is it possible to step up to the plate and help others in need?
The movie, I can’t comment on the comic book since I haven’t read it yet, goes on to show exactly what can/WILL happen to someone who does decide to try and make a difference. If you’re unlucky, you’ll end up dead. It takes more than heart and a costume to make a difference … unless you have what superheroes have, which is having an “edge” which enables him, or her, to escalate a bad situation to a really, really bad situation faster than the bad guys can. Peace through superior power, brains and high-speed equipment.
No, you can’t be Green Lantern, because you don’t got no powerful ring and you can’t be no Superman since you don’t have any superpowers and you can barely make a run to the fridge, but maybe, just maybe if you’re driven enough, and you prepare and train your body and mind, and you have a butt load of money, resources equipment and bullets, and most importantly if you happen to have a sense of compromising morals, you just might be able to become a Batman archetype, or more realistically a Punisher with a mission.
This just so happens to beg the question that we here at Superherostuff.com have been working on for a blog series, which is, “what is the criteria of a superhero?” What exactly does it take to be a superhero?
Kick-Ass Comic
Kick-Ass, the movie, is based on a comic book series written by Mark Millar with artwork by John Romia Jr. (which I simply can’t stand). Protagonist Dave Lizewski, played by Aaron Johnson John Lennon in Nowhere Boy (2009), through as sense of naive idealism, becomes “Kick-Ass” the superhero by donning a scuba suit, mask and rubber gloves and wielding duo night sticks.
We see, real quick, why normal people with no superpowers, special training or expensive equipment (or guns) don’t try to stop crime. … you end up really dead, really fast! Criminals have little patience for human speed bumps and are stereotypically overzealous in their desire to dish out pain to their fellow human bings. Basically, if you’re not packing heat vision, or heat of some sort, you best leave crime fighting to the cops who have a medical plan.
Kick-Ass: Successfully Saves The Day
Kick-Ass’ first encounter with criminals lands him in the hospital. (Told you there were spoilers here! But you read on anyway!) This is pivotal as it is the “spider bite” scene that not only helps Lizewski wake up to reality while he loses his naivete yet at the same time he transforms himself, an “upgrade” of sorts, into that which will be more likely to survive on the streets, just what he needed to help him fight crime. Every superhero has his motive, many, if not most, have had a catastrophic episode of great loss to help spur them into action.
The second time around, Kick-Ass, in hot pursuit of rescuing a lost kitty, accidentally finds himself in the role he’s been waiting/training for; to help someone from an inescapable beating from thugs. A scrap ensues where he is taking on three guys, pussies they are not, in a parking lot where he is captured on phone and surveillance cameras defending the guy on the ground. Kick-Ass instantly becomes an instant icon, a (super)hero as people see him on video sites across the web.
Big Daddy and Hit Girl
His actions capture the attention of real crime fighters Big Daddy (Nicholas Cage) and his daughter Hit Girl (Chloe Grace Moretz). If you’re up on your Batman history, you’ll instantly recognize Cage’s nod to Adam West (from the 1960s tv Batman, and more recently the Mayor of Springfield on the Simpsons) as he mimics West’s trademark halting speech patterns… NOT to be confused with Captain Kirk’s halting speech patterns that SOME idiot bloggers are suggesting. fools!
Hit Girl Taking On Mob Boss Frank D’Amico
You might remember Hit Girl, Chloe GraceMoretz in 500 Days of Summer (2009), and Diary of a Wimpy Kid (2010). As Big Daddy’s side kick, Hit Girl, absolutely steals the show. I love this girl. As caustic as her little mouth can be, and as lethal as she is in killing bad guys, the audience grows to love her as well, as well as respect her spunky and tenacious ability to kill by slitting throats, dismember bad guys and shootting them in the head. Even villain-antagonist Frank D’Amico (played by Mark Strong) respects Hit Girl when we hear him say, “God, I wish I had a son like you.”
Hit Girl was trained by Big Daddy, to join him in his revenge against crime boss D’Amico. Her training included being highly proficient in the double bladed staff, firearms of all sorts, knife fighting and even the Asian spikey thing on a chain (that you throw at people and then yank, somehow killing them in the process) that you see in Kung Fu movies. Her training also includes being shot at point-blank range, three times, while wearing a bulletproof vest. She is also a master in martial arts and all forms of melee combat. Kick-Ass is truly a reference to her ability bring down pain and death … and that purple wig with black Robin mask is soooo damn cute!!!
Frank D'Amico
Strong did an outstanding performance in playing a believable, ruthless mob boss without resorting to cliche. You might remember him as Lord Blackwood in Sherlock Holmes (2009). He will also play Matai Shang in upcoming John Carter of Mars (2012) AS WELL AS Sinestro in Green Lantern (2011)!!!!!!! YEAH BABY! We cannot wait! Pants will be peed in anticipation.
Red Mist/Chris D’Amico
“Teaming up” with Kick-Ass is Red Mist/Chris D’Amico, (Christopher Mintz-Plasse who was McLovin in Superbad (2007) and Fishlegs (voice) in How to Train Your Dragon (2010). He does a surprisingly good job but that’s all I’m saying about him.. don’t want to give anything away. I loved the part when he’s driving Kick-Ass around, listening to music in his red, $240,000, supercharged 500 hp Mustang with Lamborghini gull-wing doors, modified for drag, street and canyon driving.
Keeping in step with the Tarantino approach to movies, with cool shoot-em-up, martial arts scenes, and eye popping, shocking acts of violence from protagonists, Kick-Ass does more than just glorify violence. Yeah, sure Big Daddy and Hit Girl share in dealing out carnage but they also have an adorable relationship out of hero character. Aside from her swearing like a combat veteran, which is expected for someone who can kill with no remorse, you can see the twisted love between them as being genuine and sincere. She has complete faith in her daddy, knowing that he is training for a better good and he has complete faith that she can handle whatever he throws (shoots) at her. They both rise to each others expectations.
Hit Girl: From Comic Artist John Romita Jr.
Would I appreciate my daughter swearing and talking like that? .. Nope. Would I like it if she could fight like that when needed and handle herself in a firefight/knife fight? Hell yes! Who wouldn’t want their daughter to be able to, not only, defend themselves but actually make a difference in society?
See, this is where the movie shines. It hits you right in the friggin’ face and shows you what it takes to be a superhero. It’s not the costume, as young Lizewski, and many comic readers, would originally think, though a bullet proof vest and night vision goggles do come in handy in a pinch. What makes the difference is what’s inside, the heart, the desire to do good…. NOT! As one of Lizewski’s friends answers his question of, “why doesn’t anyone go out and be a supererhero?” with a pragmatic response, “Probably because they’ll get their f**king Asses Kicked and get killed!” we see that if you do not have an edge over the bad guys… say like… oh, I dunno… a Bazooka, then you will be seriously hurt, maimed or killed if you suit up to go toe to toe with baddies.
Kick-Ass/Dave Lizewski, played by Aaron Johnson
It takes more than heart and the desire to do good as a crime fighter, much less a superhero. To really make a difference, and to do so consistently, and to avoid being a one time martyr, it takes an edge! That edge is an enhancement of three things:
You: You have to be physically capable of beating the living snot out of 3 bad guys at once, because you know where there’s one bad guy that you just might happen to get lucky to take down, there’s two more of his buddies right behind him ready to gank you in a heartbeat and take your lunch money! You need to be in shape and you have to know how to fight.
Equipment: You have to have the goods, the weapons, the tools of the trade. Kick-Ass starts off with one club and then upgrades to two clubs (oh boy) and a tazer. Batman has his utility belt, tons of gadgets, computers, a cave, several flying machines and suits that can do everything from deflect bullets (in the movies) to change camouflage to match the terrain. The Punisher just has a ton of guns and knives and the emotionless ability to bring down serious pain on bad guys.
Funds: Bullets, Batmobiles and Jet Packs aren’t free you know. You need more than a teenager’s allowance to pay for the training, the weapons, the monitoring devices, the vehicles and to outfit the “lair” or base of operations you work from. Cops don’t do it for free babydoll!
This is why Kick-Ass is such a great movie. Hell, it’s better than 9/10ths of the big budget superhero movies out there already. Jesus Christ did you see the abortion they did to Wolverine in the Origins movie? I’m not eeeeven going to go on about Catwoman, Elektra and Tim Burton (necrophiliac idiot. That man is disturbingly in love with dead things, I tell you what!).
No, what makes Kick-Ass great is that it brings superheroes down to earth and says, “Here, you wanna play with bad guys, then this is what it looks like… a friggin’ bullet in the head! BAM! There, you still wanna play in the streets and fight crime? Then you better learn to bring a gun to a knife fight, real fast!”
People, like legendary film critic Roger Ebert, don’t like to see 13-year-old Chloe Grace Moretz’s killing people. He sees her performance as Hit Girl as crossing a line. In an interview, Ebert asked, “Will I seem hopelessly square if I find ‘Kick-Ass’ morally reprehensible and will I appear to have missed the point?” The answer is, “no, you won’t.” We do have to draw the line somewhere, I drew it when Natural Born Killers (1994) came out. I don’t need to see gratuitous mindless bloodshed. … besides, they didn’t have masks and capes. But, Kick-Ass serves a purpose and is a lot more than just catering to the lowest common denominator; uneducated, testosterone laden, American young males.
Then why isn’t Kick-Ass kicking ass at the box office? HA! They are! Latest reports state that Dreamworks’ How to Train Your Dragon pulled down $19.6 million and Lionsgate’s Kick-Ass came in first, Wiley E. Coyote style, skidding in sideways at an impressive $19.8 million. Not too shabby for a low budget movie. A huge amount of importance has been attached to being “the box office winner,” because 1) people can’t think for themselves and they end up picking a stupid Beverly Hills Chihuahua (2008)movie to go spend their money on and 2) people don’t have enough money to see a truly decent, violent cape and mask movie especially after seeing something as stupid as Beverly Hills Chihuahua .
Kick-Ass & Hit Girl
Kick-Ass has been doing well in the U.K. and Australia where it is making almost as much as it is here in the States. It is well on its way to being a profitable success, especially when compared with the majority of films that we’re being fed these days.Kick-Ass has also inspired more sales of a graphic novel than any Marvel or DC movie to date. GO BUY THE GRAPHIC NOVEL!
Kick-Ass is 118 minutes, is rated R for strong, brutal violence throughout, pervasive profanity, sexual content, some nudity (we see some nice cleavage of his Kick-Ass’ girlfriend along with his English teacher’s boobs! Woo Hoo!} and some drug use, some of which involves children (Red Mist smokes a joint but Kick-Ass turns it down! yaa Kick-Ass) … interesting how the ultra-violent is ok yet other subject matter such as sex and drugs are still taboo.
Kick-Ass T-Shirts arriving soon.
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As you have already heard, Marvel Studios’ upcoming superhero movie ‘The Avengers‘ will be hitting the screens 2012! It will pull many of the superheroes, we’ve recently seen, together into one very cool major story line, starring: Robert Downey Jr.(Iron Man, Iron Man 2), Chris Evans (Fantastic Four I, II) as Captain America, Chris Hemsworth(Star Trek: George Kirk/Jame’s father) as Thor and Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury.
It’s also rumored that Edward Norton “might” make an appearance as The Hulk and Lou Ferrigno “might” provide some of The Incredible Hulk’s voice! You didn’t hear it from me, but the new Spider-Man is also rumored to swing on by… but don’t quote me on that, ’specially since it’s just wishful thinking.
One of the OH-SO EXCELLENT parts of this story is that Joss Whedon, my master, is going to, not only direct the Avengers movie, he’s also going to replace Zak Penn and rewrite the script! TFG!!! Zak Penn provided the original story for The Avengers movie. … Zak Penn?? Lemme tell you a little about Zak penn the “writer.”
The Avengers Poster
He writes screenplays, and he must be sleeping with some very powerful dudes because he’s been doing it in the superhero universe now for a quite some time. He wrote or created the screenplays for The Last Action Hero, with Governor Awnold: Rotten Tomatoes (RT:39), Inspector Gadget (RT:29), X2 (RT:88), X-Men: The Last Stand (RT:57), and Elektra (RT:10!), Hulk (RT:61), and The Incredible Hulk (RT:66)… why is this guy allowed to even come near comics much less comics made into movies??
Joss, My Master, Whedon
Why will The Avengers be the greatest thing since Netflix and Tivo? One word… Joss Friggin’ Whedon!! If you don’t know who Joss Whedon, my master, is, you’ll still recognize his work we’ve been lucky enough to view over the years. He created, wrote and directed all 145 episodes of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” (1997) featuring uber-smoking-hot babe Sarah Michelle Gellar. Totally missed her in Maxim, but I should be able to pick one up from Brian.
The Buffy “Hush” episode was nominated for an Emmy Award in 2000 for Outstanding Writing in a Drama Series, featuring 28 minutes without dialogue, where some fairytale demons, “the Gentlemen” steal voices, and the hearts (literally) from the people of Sunnydale.
Buffy Comic Season 8
Even more impressive, Joss wrote the lyrics and music for the Buffy musical “Once More, with Feeling.”
Who cares? I’ll tell you who cares, and it’ll explain why everyone now worships Whedon because you CANNOT watch “Once More, with Feeling” without saying it’s one of the best gorram shows ever written! The original airing of “Once More, with Feeling” had 5.4 million viewers and was ranked at number 14 by TV Guide for “TV’s Top 100 Episodes of All Time.” It was voted the 13th greatest musical of all time in a recent poll from Channel 4 (the British TV Channel). and was nominated for a Hugo award - but lost to LOTR: The Fellowship of the Rings, which says nothing because ANYTHING pitted against LOTR will lose! It also win the Motion Picture Sound Editors Guild Golden Reel Award for Best Sound Editing in Television - Music, Episodic Live Action. In short, that one episode KICKS TOTAL ASS!
Buffy Comic Season 8 - Zander w/Nick Fury Look
In 2002 Whedon created and directed “Firefly,” an American space western television series set in the distant future 2517. The show is set where humans have found a new star system, exploring the lives of 9 crew members living abourd the space ship Serenity who fought on the losing side of a civil war who now make a living on the outskirts of the society in the space-pioneer culture that exists on the fringes of their star system.
Firefly/Serenity Crew
It is a future, created with amazing foresight, where the United States and China are the only two surviving superpowers, which have fused together to form a central federal government, called the Alliance. Whedon went on to create “Serenity,” the movie based on the Firefly series and if you haven’t seen it I HIGHLY suggest seeing the entire Firefly series first! To get a feel for Firefly… imagine a story that circumnavigates around Han Solo and the Millennium Falcon, throw in some Western pioneering tales, mannerisms and ol’ style speech, throw in some revolver pistols, cowboy boots and suspenders add some uber hot babes, sprinkle a smattering of Chinese-English Pigeon and you have Firefly, one HELLOFA tv show.
Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog
In 2008 Whedon created and directed “Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog,” a musical tragicomedy short film made exclusively for Internet distribution. Dr. Horrible is a story of an aspiring supervillain, obviously named Dr. Horrible (remember Doogie Houser who later became the empath in Starship Troopers?), along with Captain Hammer, Horrible’s arch nemesis (who also just so happens to be Captain Mal Reynolds on Firefly); and Penny, their mutual love interest. It has been touted as “a site-crashing success” by all geeks and uber-geeks alike.
In short, you need to put all these on your Netflix queue; Buffy, Firefly, Serenity and go watch Dr. Horrible here, and go read the Buffy Comic Season 8! The Avengers is now expected to be a panty dropping, pants peeing success. I for one, will be picking my panties up repeatedly in anticipation for this flick!
