This Is In Reference To Our Troops In Real Life – Not The Comics
More than 7,000 coalition troops have died in the Middle East; 4,700 in Iraq and 2,600 in Afghanistan. Possibly tens of thousands of US soldiers have had amputees due to IEDs and from combat. As an ex Airborne Ranger, I’ve often wondered, WHY THE HELL aren’t our soldiers issued bullet/fragmentary resistant shields similar to what Captain America wears. Body armor is currently being used, but it does nothing to protect the arms and legs of soldiers exposed to enemy fire. Body armor also transfers a huge amount of force to the body and internal organs.
With standard issue Captain America shields, the term “Double Amputee” would still be used when talking about returning US casualties of war, but hopefully, the incident rate would be far, far less than what we see now.
Cover and Concealment
Cover: Cover is what a soldier hides behind when receiving fire. Bullets are fired at you, you need something in between you and the bullets, something that will stop them. A very thick wall, lots of cyder blocks, a hill, an armored personnel carrier, 50 camels. These things keeps you alive.
Concealment: Concealment is something that prevents a soldier from being seen. Think of all those Vietnam movies you’ve seen. Soldiers in the bush, hiding in the foliage are concealed from enemy eyes. If spotted, and if they have no cover to hide behind, they’re dead meat, depending on how fast they can run and how many rifles are pointed in their direction.
What’s A Shield Do?
Soldiers In The Open
A Captain America shield is portable cover. No matter if a soldier is an urban environment, a desert or even in a jungle, they are exposed when going from point A to point B. Every single time they move from one building to another they are essentially moving from through a “Danger Area” (Danger Area is any “open” area such as a field, river, top of a hill. Any area where the enemy can go, “So, Abdul, there I was dreaming about these virgins and…. HOLY JIHAD! Abdul, Look! There is an infidel out in the open in that goat field! Wake Jafar up and let us shoot these Great Satan dogs! …and don’t forget your sandals Abdul, like you did last time.”
Kneeling Position - Leftie
Out in the open, in a Danger Area, a soldier is exposed. As he starts receiving enemy fire, he has nothing to hide behind. there is no cover to stop the bullets from hitting any part of his body. His only hope, depending on the size of the enemy with respect to his own unit, is getting in the prone position (decreasing the size of his silhouette), laying down a tremendous amount of suppressive fire (which can’t be sustained for too long), and then strategically getting the hell out of there to a better position (cover) so they can then return targeted fire from a safe position. They can also call for support, which god only knows when that would come. In this instance, the shield would help protect a soldier’s torso, arms and legs until he and his comrades got safely to a better place of permanent cover.
What’s Needed In A Shield?
The shield would need to meet certain conditions in order for it to function properly in the combat theater of operations. Off hand, some of the requirements are:
Capable of stopping an AK-47 round. Granted, armor can’t stand up to a hail of bullet fire, but it only takes one bullet to mess up a soldier’s day. If that shield can stop that one bullet, and a couple more, he’ll be able to get a new shield back at base, and have a great story to tell his buddies, wife and little daughter at home.
Portable without weighing a ton. A soldier can only carry so much crap before he starts bitching and moaning. .. well… he’s going to be bitching and moaning no matter what (I hear the MREs are only marginally better than they were when I was in) no matter what, especially in the heat, but logistically, he can only carry so much before his performance is hampered which is when his equipment becomes a liability. The shield shouldn’t weigh any more than 14 pounds max.
On Guard.
Easily worn during performance. It has to function while he moves and engages in combat. Which means he needs to be able to lie in the prone, kneeling position, in urban environment (going through doorways) and is not cumbersome while firing his weapon.
Can be unencumbered as needed. At some point a soldier needs to do other stuff, remove a rucksack, put on a rucksack, apply a dressing to a wound, get to that hot piece of frag lodged in his rib cage, get behind the wheel of vehicle quickly, grab a pen to take a cute female MP’s phone number down. The shield needs to be rapidly deployed and discarded on an as-needed basis.
Camouflaged. Obviously, the shield wouldn’t look like Caps, except for ceremonial dress, and would have a camouflaged cover on it, based on the terrain and the operations involved.
Cost effective. What’s the price of a soldier’s life? If you consider that an M4 (M-16) costs somewhere around $500 and a Kevlar helmet around $300, an effective shield should be able to be issued at around $1,000. A while ago we had up to 200,000 troops in Iraq and 20,000 in Afghanistan. If 75% of them were combat assigned, that’s about 165,000 soldiers out in the field susceptible to enemy fire. The tax payer’s price tag would be $165,000,000. Even at $2,000 per shield (which could EASILY be gathered by doing nothing more than passing a hat) the total cost would be $330,00,000. Chump change! US tax payers would be getting a goddamn deal and more troops would be returning, walking off that plane to their wives and kids.
Don’t they deserve it?
Haji At 12 O'Clock! OPEN FIRE!
- by Ronando
PS: Yes, the photoshopped pics are less than ideal, but since our main graphics guy left to go be a counselor at some summer camp, we’re left on our own to hack and slash our way through making pics. So, no flamers!
SPOILERS: A real conversation with my wife Valerie, while on a run, after seeing Captain America: The First Avenger. After seeing the movie and thinking about comic-to-movie transition, interpretation and continuity and adherence to canon I started thinking about the decrease in comic sales in general. I thought I’d run my thoughts by my wife, for a good distraction from the run while giving me an excuse to talk about comics in general, since I hate running.
Ronando: “Ok, so, … here’s why I think comic sales are partially due to ridiculously complex comic stories. .. and it’s connected to the Captain America movie we just saw. there’s some like, cool things about the movie that you should… um… that you’ll think are pretty cool.”
Valerie: “… uh huh.”
R: “.. so, you remember in the movie, Cap’s friend Bucky …”
V: “Yeah, the guy that died on the train?”
R: “Yeah. Well, in the comics, he dies and…”
V: “On a train?”
R: “No. No. .. not on a train, it’s complicated. He dies trying to stop a test rocket in World War II but then is brought back several years ago by the Russians, but he lost an..”
V: “Bucky’s a Russian? I thought he was Captain America’s friend.”
R “No! No! He is Cap’s friend, he’s not Russian. The Russian’s fouuund him, but he was missing an arm, and they brain washed him. Here’s the deal. They train him to be an assassin, a sniper, as well as a trainer for the Black Widow Russian agents. The cool thing is that we saw Bucky, for just a moment, using a sniper rifle in the movie. I’m betting that when the Avengers comes out, Bucky will be the Winter Soldier, which is the name the Russian’s gave him when he was working for them.”
V: “So what’s that got to do with a decrease in comic sales?
R: “…. um… I don’t know, I lost my train of thought. Hold on, let me catch my breath.”
V: “Aren’t you supposed to know this stuff? You run a superhero website and sell superhero shirts. You would think that your fans would expect you to know all the…”
R: “Give me a second!! I’m trying to remember the connection, it’s pretty convoluted! I have to backtrack my thoughts. …. Oh! Ok, so, you know I just got my comic shipment from Excalibur comics in Portland. So, in there is a new series called Fear itself. The deal is, if you’re buying comics for the first time in a couple years and you happen to pick one of these up, you have no friggin’ idea what the hell is going on! Check it out, there are these like, 6 or 7 hammers that fall to Earth and..
V: “Like Thor’s hammer?”
R: “Exactly! So, they fall to Earth and..”
V: “But Thor already has a hammer.”
R: “NO! NO! Listen, No, there’s 6 or 7, I don’t know ’cause I started in the middle, that fall to Earth. They’re somehow connected to this serpent that wraps around the Earth, an evil serpent, so anyone who picks up the hammers gets possessed and turns evil. So, you know the Red Skull from the…”
V: “What’s this have to do with Captain America and Bucky?”
R: “…. Ugh! I’m getting there! Hold on. You know the Red Skull from the movie?”
V: “Yeah.”
R: “Well, he has a daughter who’s name is Sin. She’s an evil b!tch who happens to have one of these hammers. So does Hulk and the Thing. So… Ah! Here’s what I was getting at. Bucky’s wearing Captain America’s uniform and …”
V: “I thought Bucky was dead?”
R: “No! NO!! Well… he was, but, remember? The Russians brought him back and…”
V: “Yeah, one armed sniper and spiders.”
R: “… Black Widows!! Ok, so, When Captain America was dead, Bucky..”
V: “Captain America’s dead? They just made a movie of him. Are you sure you know what you’re talking about? I’m totally confused now.”
R: “UGH! Yes I know what I’m talking about. … for the most part. Yeah, sure I’m missing some stuff here and there, but this stuff I know. So, Cap died when..”
V: “OH!! Yeah. He died in World War II, right?”
R: “um… no, not that time. Everyone thought he was dead, but he was just frozen for like 30 years. They brought him back in the 70s when the Avengers found him.”
V: “Wait. In the movie they said he was asleep for 70 years. You said 30.”
R: “Well, that’s because it was 30 years later in the ’70s.”
V: “Wait. … is that real time or comic time?”
R: “Both. … no wait.”
V: “You have no idea how stupid this sounds.”
R: “I do too, I complain about it all the time. Now listen, back in the 70s, when they bring Cap back, it was 70 years. But..”
V: “You mean 30.”
R: “Right, 30, WW II plus 30 years is 1970sish. But, in the movie, which is right here and now, it’s 70 years later! Got it?”
V: “Yeah, but what’s that have to do with Thor’s other hammers?”
R: “Sonofa… hold on, let me figure out where I was going with it. There’s a connection, it’s just hard to concentrate while running in this god forsaken muggy heat. And it’s only 7:00 am still! …. K, I got it. Cap comes back, joins the Avengers in the ’70s, and recently he gets killed and …”
V: “Wait, is this for real killed or assumed killed?”
R: “Well… I don’t really know, I never figured it out since I didn’t read that whole comic line. I don’t know if it was really him or some clone or god knows what, if he really died and something brought him back, but, regardless, for this story, he’s dead-dead. So, at some point Bucky comes in and ..”
V: “But I thought he was a bad guy for the Russians.”
R: “Well, yeah, he was, until he turned good again.”
V: “How’d that happen?”
R: “I don’t know, I missed that story line too.”
V: “And you’re supposed to know what you’re talking about?”
R: “Look, it’s like … comics are like a soap opera but cooler. You can be gone for years and come back and even though you have no idea what the hell is going on, you still have a good grasp of the fundamentals. You know that the old stuff still holds.”
V: “Like Bucky being dead?”
R: “GODDAMNIT! Will you just let me finish? So, in a friggin’ nutshell… Cap’s dead, Bucky’s cleared his head from the brainwashing and is now a good guy AND apparently somehow finds himself wearing Cap’s uniform, in place of Cap. So, he’s fighting off Sin, the Red Skull’s daughter, while Captain America, Steve Rogers is up with S.H.I.E.L.D. talking abo…”
V: “I thought Captain America was dead! You just said, ‘Cap’s dead and Bucky took his place.’”
R: “Ugh! Yeah, well nobody stays dead in the comics. He’s alive at this point.”
V: “Oh, like Batman?”
R: “Yeah, like Batman. And Superman.”
V: “How many times can they die?”
R: “Um… I don’t know. But I think the fans will only give them one chance and that’s it. … But Spider-Man died twice.. he just died in fact.. .but it was the Ultimate Spider-Man.”
V: “The skinny one?”
R: “Yeah.”
V: “Didn’t you say he had a clone and one of them died too?”
R: “Yeah, he died too, the clone, but Peter, and the readers, didn’t know till he died and turned to dust. … So, ANYWAYYY! … where the hell was I?”
V: “Cap’s dead, Bucky took his place, Cap’s alive, Bucky’s fighting the Red Skull’s daughter who has a hammer like Thor’s.”
R: “… wow, I’m impressed you managed to keep track of all that.”
V: “I’m a doctor, I need to know this stuff to stay cool with all the male doctors and medical students. So finish your story.”
R: “K, so…. um… oh yeah, Cap’s alive and he wants to get into the fight. In the mean time, Bucky’s getting the crap kicked out of him. He bashes Sin’s face with the shield, ‘BAMF!!’ And is coming in to decapitate her when she knocks him down and rips his arm off and blasts a hole through his chest. Bucky’s dead-dead-dead. Blue Beetle had a bullet put into his dead, so he’s dead-dead, same with Psycho Pirate where Black Adam explodes Pirate’s head by poking him in the eyes. .. so, it looks like, to me, that Bucky’s dead-dead-dead. … I give it a 80% chance of being permanent.”
V: “hmmm.. .three deads, that sounds permamanent. How can you tell if it’s permanent?”
R: “Um… good question. .. .I think 1) when you see the body, but that’s not a guarantee because we saw Robin’s body and Cap’s body, but not Bucky’s, and all three were dead and are now alive. And 2) …. if the wound is bad enough to the point where the reader goes, “Jesus Christ! Did you read this?” Then they’re pretty much dead. … at least a 65% chance of being dead-dead.”
V: “Wait… Robin’s dead?”
R: “OHJESUSCHRIST We’re not going there. No! No.”
V: “…..”
R: “Ok, so, Cap’s dead… I mean, Bucky’s now dead and there are these 7 planet buster hammers floating around in the hands of possessed heroes and villains. Big Big trouble. The deal is, it’s confusing. Totally confusing if you walked right in the middle of it. The only reason why I know is ’cause Debbie at Excalibur told me about the story and that I should buy them.”
V: “Yeah, you sound confused.”
R: “Shutup!”
V: “Well, if it’s so confusing, then maybe they should have a summary at the beginning of each comic of what’s going on.”
R: “Yeah, they already do that.”
V: “What? They do? Don’t you read it?”
R: “Pffft… no, nobody does. It’s boring.”
V: “You are such a dork! Here you are contemplating on one of the primary reasons why comics are decreasing in sales, referring to a major flaw in the comic publishers and writers and come to find out, they account for it, but you just don’t read it.”
R: “… it’s boring. I hate reading those things.”
V: “Don’t you think that if you read them that you just might understand the comic a little more?”
R: “…..”
R: “Well… yeah…..guess you’re right. … but the stories are still long, drawn out, big galactic, infinite crisis bullsh!t this or House of that! … it just keeps getting more and more convoluted to the point that the story itself is lost in all the convolutedness.”
V: “I don’t think ‘convolutedness’ is a word and I think you’re just being lazy. Didn’t you say that Blackest Night was a big hit? Wasn’t that convoluted? Did you read all of those comics?”
R: “Yeah, it was a big hit. … no, I didn’t get all of them either. The price of comics are freakin’ expensive! $3.99 for a Marvel comic!”
V: “…. wait, isn’t … wasn’t Blackest Night DC?”
R: “… well… yeah, but you still get my point! Look, the price of comics on top of convoluted, super-ark story lines that make you buy a bunch of comics you don’t want to buy compounded with where if you miss one friggin’ issue you’re totally lost, and those stupid ads for Go-Gurt and Spider-Man scateboards all comes down to a decrease in geeks who want to buy comics. That’s all I’m saying.”
V: “Sure took you a long enough time to say it. I still think you’re just being lazy and like to complain. Do all of you comic guys complain this much? … So, tell me how Robin died.”
R: “No!”
V: “Awww… are you pouting? Do you need a hug?”
R: “No! Get away. You’re sweaty. Leamealone!!!”
*forced hug, then laughs*
R: “I’m still right! You just don’t understand ’cause you don’t have to put up with these writers.”
That’s right. From now through May 9th, you can enter to win a FREE iPad 2, pre-loaded with Marvel Thor digital comics, that we’re personally loading, from iTunes just for YOU!! So far, this is the biggest prize we have ever given away, a brand new iPad 2! All you have to do is fill out our form to enter. That’s it. We will randomly select a winner on May 11th. The cool thing is that you can actually enter twice! Once here on our site and once on our Facebook page. Amazingly, most people don’t read the fine print and only enter once, so entering twice is like. …more better!
Win A Free T-Shirt
If you don’t win the iPad, it’s not because you suck at winning stuff and can never get the girl, no it’s simply because you just didn’t win. BUT! You still have a chance to walk away with a Free T-Shirt. We will be randomly selecting 10 runner-ups to win have our run of the site for their choice of shirt, and it doesn’t have to be Thor, it can be Superman, Batman or even Dr. Doom. These 10 lucky Bastich’s get to choose, from our entire site, what t-shirt they want us to send them, for free! So, hurry up and enter to win, you have till May 9th.
Fine Print That’s More Interesting Than Important
You can get your own Marvel digital comics at Marvel or iTunes.
Here’s and iPad 2 Review. Jesus! These guys have close to 5,000 comments on this thorough review!… wish I had one now, these puppies are way cool.
2011 first quarter graphic novel sales dropped 10.67%
“Sales of the Top 300 graphic novels through Diamond Comic Distributors in March were down a substantial 18.6%, while sales of the Top 300 periodical comics fell 4.28%. Combined sales of the Top 300 Graphic Novels and Comics in March were off by 7.58%.”
Only two titles sold over 4 thousand copies, which means that the top titles were barely selling one copy per store.
With the number of new releases, death of Johnny, the rise of the Future Foundation and Thor and Captain America movies just around the corner, comic book sales are struggling. ICV2 points out that, “Robert Kirkman’s The Walking Dead is hot, but the presence of Vol. 1, which was originally published over 5 years ago, at #8 is a testament to the overall weakness of graphic novel sales in March.”
For an overview and analysis of the best-selling comics and graphic novels in February, see “Top Tier Titles Weak in February.” For an analysis of the dollar trends in February, see “The Long Tail Wags the Comics Dog in Feb.” http://www.icv2.com/articles/news/19572.html
This weekend is Buy A Comic Day. The third weekend of each month is dedicated to getting people to go out and buy;
Two new comics, to support the industry
Two back issues, to support your LOCAL comic book store.
But now we’re also throwing in one graphic novel
If you love the movies, love the stories, love Power Girl’s boobs and like to bitch that Wolverine can take on Green Lantern or Superman, then pony up and go buy some comics. Many of you geeks do, but MANY of you don’t. These monthly posts are dedicated to those of you who haven’t purchased comics in the last 6 months. Go buy some from your local comic shop.
And, even you have been purchasing religiously, you can give a little more! Things would be worse if you haven’t been buying what you have so far, but you can give a little more! Come on!! This isn’t charity. It’s not some boring “save the children” cause that you end up hating after you fork over $5! NO! This is economics and capitalism and goddammit, you’re going to walk away with a cool comic when you’re done, and you’ll be happy after you spend $20 this weekend. You’re getting value and you’re contributing to a worthy cause. I’m heading out tomorrow to cater to my addiction. I’ll be going to Excalibur Comics on SE Hawthorne in Portland. I hope I see you there.
Smallville Season 10, Episode 2 Review Written by Douglas Appich
The episode starts with Clark at the Daily Planet upset because Lois left for Africa. Suddenly, we see an annoying, bubbly, blonde girl walk in the building who goes by the name of Cat Grant. She gets on Clark’s nerves when she sits at Lois’ desk, so Clark tells her that Lois is coming back to work.
Cat tells him that Lois is not coming back, and that she is his new partner. They then get in the car to go off on an assignment, when a mysterious assassin shoots a gun from several blocks away using laser technology to guide the bullet into Clark and Cat’s tailpipe. The car blows up and Clark is barely able to save Cat in time. He then sees that the bullet that blew up their car has the name “Clark Kent” carved into it.
Deadshot
Meanwhile, we find out that this assassin is named Deadshot and that he is working for a group called the Suicide Squadwhich has hired him to kill Clark Kent for unknown reasons. To get to Clark, he decides that he needs to target Cat Grant since they are partners.
Because of this, Cat mistakenly thinks the assassin was hired by her crazy ex-husband to get their son, so she attempts to leave town. However, Deadshot tracks her down at the bus depot and shoots a bullet in her direction. Clark jumps in front of the bullet and thinks he’s saved her, but we find that the bullet actually imprinted a tracking device on Clark so that the Suicide Squad can track and study him. [However, that was what Deadshot was hoping for and the place where the bullet had made contact, formed the Suicide Squad seal beneath Clark's skin, successfully tagging him.]
We also find that similar tracking devices have been placed on Hawkman and Green Arrow.
[Who's the Suicide Squad? From Season 9, nothing much is known about the group, but they were only mentioned by Amanda Waller when she welcomed Cameron Mahkent to the Squad before firing a gun at him.
Rick Flag led the Suicide Squad in the abduction of Oliver Queen, proclaiming that they'd go after the rest of his team next. Rick kept Oliver in a secure location in Metropolis by the docks where he tortured him, beating him and electrocuting him for information on what he knew about the alien attacks on monuments around the world.
Oliver was very uncooperative but soon after his abduction, Chloe Sullivan, the Watchtower for Oliver's league of costumed vigilantes, set up an exchange with the squad, trading herself for Oliver. Before they got a chance to torture her, Chloe took a cyanide pill and supposedly killed herself. The Suicide Squad believed her dead and moved on to their next plan.
They learned the identities of the rest of Oliver's team and set out to tag them with tracers in order to track their movements. The superb marksman, Deadshot, set out for Clark Kent, also known as The Blur, targeting his writing partner at the time, Cat Grant, to lure him out.]
Clark's New Skivvies!
The episode ends with Clark standing on top of the Daily Planet building in his new costume, which is a red jacket with an “S engraved in the front. [Editor's Note: Yeah Baby!!] Also, Hawkman convinces Lois to leave Africa and return to Clark.
Overall, this was a pretty good episode, but not as good as the first one. We got see the first Smallville appearances of Cat Grant and Deadshot, which was fun. However, the episode could have used a little more action. Clark took out Deadshot in one punch, which sucked. It should have been more exciting. Overall though, it was a lot of fun and a positive contribution to the series. I give it a 7/10
Cat Grant (from the comics, borrowing Power Girl's boobs)
The continuing review of Smallville over the last 10 years, by Douglas Appich.
Season 6
Smallville Season 6
This season begins exactly where season 5 left off. Zod/Lex is attempting to rule the Earth, and Clark must stop him. However, Zod imprisons Clark in the Phantom Zone. While in the Zone, he soon discovers a device that he can use to extract the Zod phantom from Lex’s body and send him back to the Phantom Zone, and he does so.
However, when Clark escapes from the Phantom Zone, many phantoms and criminals escape, too. For the rest of the season, Clark must go on a global search to find the criminals/phantoms that escaped and put them back into the Zone. He also discovers Martian Manhunter, who was friends with Jor-El and is able to help Clark put back the phantoms. But at the end of the season, the last phantom finds his way into British Columbia. Clark tries to capture him, but the phantom ends up merging with Clark’s Kryptonian DNA, creating a “bizarre” clone of Clark. This “bizzarro” Clark causes a dam in British Columbia to burst, and the season ends on a cliffhanger with Bizzarro flying away.
The cast of season 6
Lana Marries Lex
Lana Lang: This season begins with Lana trying to kill Zod/Lex and failing. However, after Zod is extracted from Lex, Lana and Lex begin to resume their relationship. But things get complicated when Lana finds out she is pregnant.
As a result, she agrees to marry Lex so that the baby is not born out of wedlock. Shortly after the wedding, though, Lana miscarries the baby. This situation is complicated further when Lana finds out that she was never really pregnant and that Lex injected her with hormones so that she would agree to marry him.
She also finally finds out about Clark’s secret, and realizes that he had been lying to her this whole time in order to protect her. After finding out all of this, Lana leaves Lex as he tells her, “do you think I am going to just let you walk away?” Sure enough, the season ends with Lana’s car exploding as soon as she turns the ignition. Everyone believes she is dead, and Lex is arrested and alleged of murdering his own wife.
Clark: Clark fighting one of the escapees from the Phantom Zone
Oliver Queen/Green Arrow - Justin Hartley
Oliver Queen/Green Arrow (played by Justin Hartley):Oliver Queen joins the cast this season as a recurring character. He first makes contact with Clark and discovers his secret while he is investigating LuthorCorp as his Green Arrow persona. Oliver tells Clark that Lex is involved in a project called 33.1 where he is capturing meteor freaks against their will and performing illicit experiments on them. To stop Lex, Oliver forms a team which is reminiscent of the Justice League. Team members include Arthur Curry (a.k.a Aquaman, first appeared in season 5), Bart Allen (a.k.a. Impulse/Kid Flash, first appeared in season 4) and Victor Stone (a.k.a. Cyborg, first appeared in season 5).
Together with Clark, they team up and begin to destroy Lex’s labs. Lex and Lionel Luthor: With Jonathan dead, Lionel gets closer to Martha Kent and helps her as she continues her job as a senator. In addition to the marriage between Lana, we also see that Lex is involved in many terrible projects this season, including 33.1 and Project: Ares, which takes military personnel against their will and experiments on them in an attempt to create a super soldier. The season ends with Lex arrested for allegedly murdering Lana
Chloe Heals Lois
Chloe Sullivan: Begins to call herself “Watchtower” and furthers her role as an assistant to super powered heroes. In addition to assisting Clark with her hacking skills, she also assists Oliver’s team by providing information about Lex’s labs. She also is continuing her job at the Daily Planet. At the end of the season, Chloe discovers she is a meteor freak with the power to heal others on the brink of death. When Lois is shot in the finale, Chloe heals her with a tear drop, but dies in the process. The season ends with Chloe dying, and Lois by her side in tears.
Henry James “Jimmy” Olsen (played by Aaron Ashmore)
Henry James “Jimmy” Olsen (played by Aaron Ashmore): The real Jimmy Olsen’s older brother. He is currently dating Chloe, but becomes jealous of Clark’s friendship with her.
Lois Lane: This season, Lois begins to date Oliver Queen and discovers her passion as a reporter. She first works at a tabloid called the Inquisitor, and then moves up to the Daily Planet with Chloe and Jimmy.
Martha Kent: Still a senator, Martha leaves Smallville to go work in Washington D.C. She still talks to Clark on the phone, but doesn’t appear again on the show until season 9.
Martian Manhunter - John Jones - Phil Morris
New Justice League Characters:
Martian Manhunter – John Jones is a super-powered alien from the planet Mars, who works as a homicide detective for the Metropolis Police Department. Before that, he worked as an intergalactic bounty hunter known as Martian Manhunter.
He was the last surviving member of an alien civilization that once existed on Mars; he once worked for Jor-El, trapping and imprisoning criminals from the 28 known galaxies.
Green Arrow - Oliver Jonas Queen is the billionaire CEO of Queen Industries. As Green Arrow, Oliver dresses in green and black and commands a variety of arrows and gadgets for many forms of defense. Oliver had a near life-long relationship Lex Luthor which began during their time together at boarding school. He descended into depression after learning Lionel killed his parents and turned towards a lifestyle of women, drinking, and partying, abandoning his Green Arrow duties. He was originally introduced in a guest run as a substitute for the restricted-rights character Batman.
Green Arrow - Oliver Jonas Queen - Justin Hartle
My Analysis: Like season 4, I had mixed feelings about this season. Many fans did not like this season due to the Lex and Lana marriage. While I agree that the relationship was distracting, I enjoyed the appearances of Zod, Martian Manhunter, Bizzarro, Green Arrow, and an early version of Justice League. I also enjoyed Clark’s storyline as he chased after the phantoms that had escaped from the Phantom Zone. Overall, this was a bittersweet season, but one that is still worth buying due to the appearances of all the characters I mentioned.
The Justice League
Season 7
Season 7
This season picks up right where season 6 left off. Bizzarro is roaming the world freely, and is a serious threat to Earth. At first, Clark does not know how to stop him. However, he soon discovers that Bizzarro is the exact opposite of Clark. Where Clark gets his strength from the sun, Bizzarro is weakened by the sun and gets his strength from Kryptonite.
Upon discovering this, Clark knocks Bizzarro into the sun and he is no longer a threat for the time being. The rest of the season revolves around a group called “Veritas,” which consists of a group of reclusive billionaires including Lionel Luthor and Oliver Queen’s parents. Back in the 1980’s, Veritas foresaw that an intergalactic traveler (in this case, Clark Kent) would be coming to Earth. They feared that the Traveler would take over the planet, so they discovered a way to take the Traveler’s powers away if he ever got out of control.
Veritas
Wanting to harness the power of the Traveler for himself, Lionel Luthor killed almost everyone in Veritas, including Oliver Queen’s parents. When Lex finds out about Veritas, he vows to kill the Traveler and stops at nothing to find the device that takes the Traveler’s powers away. When Lionel will not tell Lex where the device is, Lex kills his own father. The season ends with Lex taking Clark’s powers away and confronting him in his Fortress of Solitude. At this point, Lex knows Clark’s secret and vows to kill him. The season ends with Lex and Clark fighting in the Fortress of Solitude as it falls apart.
The cast of season 7
Clark: Clark ends up fighting Bizarro, who gets his strength from Kryptonite, but Clark knocks him into the sun. [editor's note: What the hell was Lyonel doing there?]
Lana Lang: At the beginning of the season, we soon discovered that Lana faked her death. Lana discovered that Lex had made a clone of her, and she placed a clone of herself in the front seat of the car to make it look like she had blown up. Upon discovering this, Lex apologizes to Lana and says he doesn’t blame her for doing what she did. He then gives her 10 million dollars in a divorce settlement. After this, Clark and Lana try to pick up where they left off and date again.
However, so much has happened at this point that it causes a lot of tension and complicates their relationship. Clark also discovers that Lana has been lying to him and is secretly trying to take down LuthorCorp by herself. Things are further complicated when Bizzarro returns to Smallville disguised as Clark while Clark is away in the Fortress of Solitude. Bizzarro charms Lana and makes her think that he is really Clark. When Clark comes back, he stops Bizzarro but is insulted that Lana could not tell the difference between him and his evil clone. Finally, at the end of the season, Lana seemingly walks out on Clark.
Bizarro Clark
Bizarro: Bizarro, was the last and possibly most dangerous Zoner. He was accidentally created in a laboratory on the planet Krypton, and was sent into the Phantom Zone by Jor-El and Martian Manhunter. He escaped when Clark Kent opened a portal to Earth so he could escape from the Zone.
Bizarro followed him and spent the next several weeks seeking a host that could sustain him. Bizarro eventually confronted Clark and stole a piece of DNA from him, allowing him to create an imperfect clone of the Kryptonian which would act as a permanent host body for Bizarro to inhabit.
Oliver Queen/Green Arrow This season, Green Arrow continues to blow up Lex Luthor’s labs and serve as a hero of Metropolis. Lex and Lionel Luthor: This season, Lionel is killed by his own son. Lex continues to become more and more evil. In addition to trying to kill Clark and killing Lionel, Lex also creates two clones of his dead brother Julian who died when he was a baby. After discovering that they are clones controlled by Lex, the two clones resent Lex, and Lex kills them for their defiance.
Kara-EL - Supergirl
New Justice League Character: Kara-EL a.k.a. Supergirl (played by Laura Vandervoort): Clark’s cousin Kara-El is introduced to us this season. Like Clark, she is from Krypton and is sent to Earth by her father Zor-El.
However, unlike Clark, her ship lands in the ocean and becomes trapped, putting Kara into a state of stasis for 18 years. She finally awakens from her stasis and seeks out Clark. Her and Clark have a rocky relationship at first, but finally agree to work together to stop Brainiac, who has returned after being seemingly destroyed in season 5.
The season ends with Braniac trapping Kara in the Phantom Zone. She does not appear until season 8, when Clark rescues her from the Phantom Zone and allows her to leave his custody so that she can roam the galaxy in search for surviving Kryptonians.
Chloe Sullivan: This season, Chloe continues to help Clark and the other heroes. She also becomes engaged to Jimmy Olsen.
Henry James “Jimmy” Olsen (played by Aaron Ashmore): Jimmy asks Chloe to marry him this season, and she says yes.
Lois Lane: Lois continues to work at the Daily Planet and begins a brief relationship with the clone of Lex’s dead brother. At the end of the season, she tells Clark about a job opening at the Daily Planet and encourages him to apply.
My Analysis: Three words: Worst! Season! EVER!!!! I think many fans will agree with me that this was the worst season of Smaville that was ever created. It was a miracle the show wasn’t cancelled after this joke of a season. Michael Rosenbaum and Kristin Kreuk, who were both in their last season of the show, looked like they were sleepwalking through their scenes. And the writing was AWFUL!!!
Where to start? Here are a couple examples of the bad writing that I’m talking about:
Lana falls in love with Bizzarro (lame),
Lana hires an old lady to kidnap and torture Lionel Luthor (SUPER LAME),
and Lex kills throws his father out of a window for absolutely no reason (MEGA LAME).
This wasn’t all the producers faults, however: this season was done in the midst of 2007-2008 writers strike, and I believe many episodes were delayed as a result. The strike also caused the season to only have 20 episodes instead of the usual 22, which seemed to cause the storyline to be rushed. Fortunately, the show has gotten much better since this awful season.
Season 8
Season 8
In light of the events at the end of last season, Clark and Lex are now missing after their fight at the Fortress of Solitude. While Lex’s body is never recovered, a powerless Clark somehow shows up in the middle of Russia where he is working as a slave and unable to leave. Oliver Queen finds him and brings him home. Clark then regains his powers when Martian Manhunter flies him into the center of his power source: the sun!
After this fiasco, Clark gets a job at the Daily Planet in Metropolis and decides to become the city’s protector. At this point, Clark has finally realized his destiny as protector of the Earth. However, in order to fully do this, he must begin his training with Jor-El in the Fortress of Solitude, which he starts to begin this season.
The rest of the season revolves around a new threat: Doomsday! It is discovered that Clark did not come to Earth alone. General Zod’s son, who happened to be a part of a genetic experiment that transformed him into a hideous monster is also here now lives on Earth and goes by the name of Davis Bloom.
He grew up in an orphanage but now works as an EMT. However, at night, he transforms into the hideous Doomsday monster and kills people. His transformations have begun to get out of control. After giving Clark a lot of trouble, he seemingly kills Doomsday after throwing him into a vat of explosives.
The cast of season 8
Lana Lang: Although Kristin Kreuk was no longer a regular on the show at this point, Lana still appeared in five episodes in a recurring role to wrap up her storyline from last season. Lana returns to Smallville and reveals to Clark that the reason she left him last season is because she had a gun pointed at her head by Lex’s men. After this, she vows to kill Lex and goes on a quest to retrieve a suit that will grant her powers similar to Clark’s.
She eventually finds the suit and her and Clark get back together. However, this reunion is interrupted when Lex returns. He tells Lana that there is a Kryptonite bomb in Metropolis. The only way she can defuse it is to absorb the Kryptonite with her super-suit. However, if she does this, she will never be able to be close to Clark again due to the fact that Kryptonite kills him. She agrees to do it, and her and Clark agree that they can never see each other again. She then gives him one last kiss that almost kills him, and leaves Smallville forever.
Winslow Schott - Toyman
Oliver Queen/Green Arrow This season, Green Arrow is on a mission to kill Lex Luthor as he decides that he is a threat to the planet. However, Lex wants to kill him first, so he hires an assassin named Winslow Schott who calls himself the Toyman. He uses toys dressed as explosives to try and kill Oliver, but fails. Oliver then blows up the truck that Lex is housed in and frames Toyman for it. Lex is seemingly killed in this explosion.
Lex Luthor: Even though Michael Rosenbaum left the show, another actor briefly plays Lex this season in order to wrap up his storylines. After the fight in the fortress last season, an injured and paralyzed Lex is confined to a truck where he sits brooding and manipulating events from behind the scenes. However, he is apparently blown up by Green Arrow. As of the beginning season 10, this storyline is still ongoing and has not concluded yet.
Tess Mercer Cassidy Freeman
Tess Mercer (Cassidy Freeman): A mysterious red-haired woman that Lex puts in charge of LuthorCorp after he is injured and no longer able to lead the company. No one knows who she is or what her connection to Lex is, but she knows all about Clark’s secret. However, unlike Lex, she has not threatened Clark and seems to even try to aid him sometimes, in her own way. At the end of season 8, Tess is seen opening an orb containing a mysterious energy.
Chloe Sullivan: At the beginning of season 8, Brainiac touches Chloe and infects her with a virus before he dissapears. As a result, Chloe’s meteor powers are gone, but she is able to read binary code and other complicated computer languages, something she couldn’t do before.
Suddenly, all her memories of her friends are erased. She cannot remember who Clark, Jimmy, Lois, or anyone close to her is. It is then she realizes that Brainiac has taken over body and wants to use her to conquer the planet. That is when the Legion of Superheroes comes from the future and tells Clark that if he doesn’t kill Chloe she is going to destroy the entire world.
Clark tells them that real heroes don’t kill. Finally, after arguing with the Legion for a long time, they then come up with the idea to combine their powers to perform a “techno-exorcism” which extracts the virus from Chloe’s body. After that, Chloe is normal again, and all of the stuff with her and Doomsday starts to happen.
Chloe and Jimmy get married this season. However, their marriage gets complicated when she develops a friendship with Davis Bloom, a.k.a. Doomsday. Chloe is determined to protect Davis and believes that he cannot control his Doomsday persona. She hides him in her basement, and hits Clark with Kryptonite when he tries to send Davis to the Phantom Zone. Angry that Chloe would choose to protect a serial killer, a frustrated Jimmy then leaves Chloe. [editor's note: Yaaaa!]
Henry James “Jimmy” Olsen: This season, Jimmy discovers that a mysterious “blur” figure is protecting the streets of Metropolis. Jimmy calls this figure “the red-blue blur”. Jimmy tells the rest of the people at the Daily Planet about The Blur, and numerous stories are written about this Blur. Later in the season, after leaving Chloe, Jimmy briefly goes to work for Oliver Queen. However, he becomes determined to get Chloe back, and asks her to come back with him. She agrees, and an enraged Davis Bloom kills Jimmy, angry that he can’t have Chloe for himself. Jimmy dies, and Chloe regrets ever protecting Davis. [editor's note: 0.O There are no stupid actors... just stupid writing.]
Doomsday
Davis Bloom a.k.a. Doomsday (played by Sam Witwer): This season, it is discovered that Clark did not come to Earth alone. General Zod’s son, who happened to be a part of a genetic experiment that transformed him into a hideous monster, is also here among us.
This man, who now lives on Earth and goes by the name of Davis Bloom, grew up in an orphanage but now works as an EMT. [editor's note: "An EMT? How ironically-random. Why not as the drive through employee at Burgerking? Is this for real?"] However, at night, he transforms into the hideous Doomsday monster and kills people. His transformations have begun to get out of control. After giving Clark a lot of trouble, he seemingly kills Doomsday after throwing him into a vat of explosives. [editor's note: 0.O]
Daily Planet
Lois Lane: This season, Lois finally gets Clark to come work at the Daily Planet with her. She teaches him how to dress professionally, and teaches him her rules for reporting. Lois and Clark almost become romantically involved this season, but their relationship is put on hold when Lana returns. The season ends with Lois finding a mysterious ring that sends her back in time. The ring is actually a time-travel ring that belonged to the Legion of Superheroes, who also appeared this season. She also forms a relationship with the Blur, who calls her on the phone and gives her an exclusive interview about his crime fighting exploits in Metropolis. She still has not figured out that the Blur is Clark. [editor's note: Oh Come ON!!]
Legion of Superheroes
My Analysis: This season was a huge improvement over season 7, but still had a lot of kinks. This season had new producers, Brian Peterson and Kelly Souders, after series creators Miles Millar and Alfred Gough left due to a dispute with the network.
It was obvious that Souders and Peterson were trying to find their niche this season as the show’s new producers. The Doomsday storyline didn’t work as well as it should have, and the way Jimmy Olsen was killed felt forced and awkward. However, there were a lot of bright spots this season. We got to see some great characters from the comics, such as Maxima, the Legion of Superheroes, Faora, and Toyman. Also, for the first time, this season took place mainly in Metropolis instead of Smallville, which was cool. Overall, it was a good turning point for the series, but still had a few kinks that needed to be worked out for season 9.
Season 9
Smallville Season 9
This season takes place several weeks after season 8 ended. Clark continues his training with Jor-El in the Fortress; the same training that will lead him to become Superman later on. He has also began wearing a black costume with an “S” on it and is patrolling the streets of Metropolis as the city’s protector.
It is revealed later in the season that the orb Tess Mercer opened, last season, contained dozens of Kryptonian clones. In order to save their race from extinction, Jor-El cloned a bunch of Kryptonians from the capital city of Kandor and placed them in an orb that was sent to Earth. These clones are led by the evil General Zod, who was one of the Kryptonians that was cloned.
Upon discovering this, Clark decides that he wants to lead the Kryptonian clones and teach them how to blend in with the humans. Zod disagrees with Clark and feels that Kryptonians are superior to humans and should be in charge of Earth. Zod is also upset because none of the Kryptonians have powers due to the fact that Zod injected their orb with blue kryptonite (kryptonite that removes kryptonian powers) before he sent it to Earth. However, after Zod is shot, Clark revives him by giving Zod some of his blood.
Kandor
Not only is Zod revived, but he has the same powers as Clark, which proves that Kryptonians can pass on their powers to other Kryptonians through their blood. Zod then tells his wife Faora that he wants to give his powers to all of the Kryptonians on Earth so that they can rule the planet. When Faora disagrees, Zod kills her and blames it on humans.
Zod then tells the rest of the Kryptonians that the humans want to kill them and the only way to stop the humans is to rise up against them. When Clark sees that the Kryptonians are getting out of control, he uses the Book of Rao to transport the Kryptonians to an uninhabited planet. However, before the Book can send him away, Zod stabs Clark in the chest with a blue kryptonite dagger. A powerless Clark then falls to Earth and the season ends.
Zod about to stab Clark
The cast of season 9
Clark: right before Clark goes to fight Zod in the season 9 finale, his mother visits and leaves Clark a package. That night, Clark has a dream that he is wearing a red and blue suit and protecting Metropolis. Clark then wakes up, opens the package his mother left him, and sees the same red and blue suit that he just dreamt about. Two videos. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dK11zdZTzDw&NR=1
Oh, and Clark and Lois kiss.
Oliver Queen/Green Arrow: After much disagreement between Clark and Green Arrow for several seasons, the two come to a catharsis this season and begin to work together as a team.
Tess Mercer (Cassidy Freeman): After freeing the Kryptonians from the orb, Tess begins a sexual relationship with Zod. She soon realizes Zod is crazy, but he burns off half her face with his heat vision. The season ends with her dying in the hospital while a mysterious old lady resembling Granny Goodness enters her hospital as Tess dies.
Chloe Sullivan: This season, Chloe gets her own headquarters where she can see the entire city of Metropolis. It has huge, expensive computers that Oliver Queen’s company paid for. She uses these computers to provide intelligence for the superhero community. She also begins a romantic relationship with Oliver Queen. [editor's note: I'm thinking... Oracle (Batgirl) from the DC/Batman Universe since the Batman legal people are being pricks and not working with Smallville. ... at least not yet.]
Clone of Zod (played by Callum Blue): At first, Clark thinks that he can reason with Zod and that Zod can be his Kryptonian brother. This doesn’t work, however, as the clone of Zod proves that he wants to dominate Earth the same way his counterpart dominated Krypton.
Lois Lane: At the beginning of the season, Lois picks up where she left off in season 8 as she goes forward in time one year where she discovers an apocalyptic future where Zod and the rest of the Kryptonian clones have taken over the planet. She then goes back to the present where she is able to warn Clark about what will happen to the future if he can’t stop Zod in the present. Her and Clark also begin to date this season and are able to maintain a serious relationship. The season ends with Lois discovering that Clark is really the Blur. [editor's note: GASP!]
My Analysis: I think most fans can agree that this season was a renaissance period for the show. We got to see TONS of characters from the comics this season, including Amanda Waller, the Justice Society, Speedy, Silver Banshee, the Wonder Twins, Metallo, the Dark Archer, and more! We also got to see Martha Kent come back for the first time since season 6. Overall, this was the best season of Smallville in a very long time.
Tony Stark announces to the world that he’s Iron Man and the Government wants the Iron Man suit for themselves. Tony says, “No! It’s mine! You can’t have it!” So the government hires a rival weapons contractor to build their own suit. (psst.. look for the NAVY logo on the left shoulder of one of the armored suits that Iron Man and War Machine fight).
And to celebrate the Iron Man 2 movie, we’re giving away some free stuff: gift certificates, free t-shirt of your choice and an Xbox 360 Elite with Iron Man 2 Xbox game. Just visit our Iron Man 2 Movie Review page and sign up for the contest. That’s it!
Some things that that people are excited over are the appearance of Black Widow, War machine and even the good ol’ Tony Stark’s classic Iron Man briefcase armor.
Tony's Briefcase Armor
Briefcase Armor: Suiting Up
Tony's Briefcase Field Armor: Ready For Wacko Russian Whiplash
Check out our Iron Man 2 page to catch the lowdown on the movie and sign up to win the Xbox in our give-away.
Ok, granted it doesn’t take much to make a woman look like Wonder Woman, but not all women can pull it off. You need to be tall, statuesque, long wavy dark hair, preferably black, and look like a total goddess and it helps if she can throw a punch. And wear high heeled boots too.
The funny thing is that, the woman, especially nekid women, are the epitome of sexiness. A nude woman is simply absolutely gorgeous. So, isn’t it funny how the average comic geek prefers to see a woman clad in star spangled undies and tiara, so as to look like Wonder Woman, over a nude woman in general?
Something about the outfit just adds that extra… mMPH to the picture. What is it? It can’t be that she’s simply scantily clad. If that were it we’d all be looking at Victoria’s Secret catalog, of which I have volumes I through XXIVI. So it has to do something with the fact that Wonder Woman is a superhero and is … well.. not just a superhero but a scantily clad, sexy superhero who’s also really cool as a character with a ton of character development. “that’s not all that she developed!” Shut up you!
So, thank god for Photoshop and some comic-geek-nerd type that took the time to color in some undies and a tiara, but he could have left the eyes not blue. Let’s hope that all tall, beautiful women will avail themselves to be seen in a Wonder Woman outfit, showing the world just how powerful and sexy they really are. “why do tall babes slouch all the time though?“ Shut up you!
If you love the movies, love the stories, love Power Girl’s boobs and like to bitch that Wolverine can take on Green Lantern or Superman, then pony up and go buy some comics. Many of you geeks do, but MANY of you don’t. These monthly posts are dedicated to those of you who haven’t purchased comics in the last 6 months. Go buy some from your local comic shop.
