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New Bane T-Shirts! New Family Guy! New Me! New You! New…She-Ra!!??

Friday, February 3rd, 2012

That’s right, we got new stuff! Go figure! Anyway…YEAH! NEW STUFF! What did we get? Why….just keep readin’!

Check out the Bane Will Break You T-Shirt! It’s Bane! And yes, he WILL break you! Into how many pieces? Well, you’re only about 5’3″, so….not too many. Y’know….he broke the Batman! Yup. Snapped him like…like caped celery! Yup. It was a bad, bad day for Batman fans when some Lucha Libre looking flesh-mountain took advantage of some highly volatile pharmaceuticals and some spontaneously released Gotham criminals. Yup, the plan was simple: wear the Batman down, then beat the $#%$ out of him. And yes, it actually worked.

HEY! It’s the Family Guy Superhero Boxes T-Shirt! It’s got all your favorite Family Guy characters dressed as highly recognizable super-heroes from the DC Universe! It’s Peter as Superman! Stewie as Robin! Brian as Batman! And Chris looking suspiciously like….Aquaman! So, if Simpsons characters closely resembling members of the Legion of Doom appear at the local Q-Mart demanding flower-shaped ashtrays….Perhaps these DC-based Family Guy iterations will show up and…..uh…..play Hero Clicks or something.

And OH! Look! It’s the She-Ra and Swiftwind Juniors T-Shirt! That’s right, we got She-Ra! She’s riding Swiftwind! She’s like He-Man but…Fe-Male! Like He-Man, she has the power to hurl a mountain at the forces of evil (the Horde, specifically)! Oh, and she also carries one of those very handy Swords of Power. They’re especially useful when it comes to….skinning members of the Horde.

Yeah! Awesome, awesome stuff. You should probably…you should probably buy some of it. Yeah, that’s my suggestion. Yup. See that “Add to Cart” Tab near the product? Click it.

Tags: bane, familyguy, shera, tshirt
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New Shot Glasses! New T-Shirts! It’s New!

Friday, January 20th, 2012

Hey! Just wanted to let you know what the hell’s been hurled through the warehouse doors lately. No, not cotton candy, the sons of Ultraman or cases of everyone’s favorite man-doll, My Buddy. Nope, none of that. What did we really get? Read on, gentle reading person…….

We hear you, female Voltron fans…and we sympathize. Because of this, we grant you the Voltron Together We Form Junior Womens T-Shirt! It’s got fully formed Voltron hanging in space with that planet razing Blazing Sword reflecting the light of a million burning suns! It’s Voltron, and he’s not here to change your diapers, weed your garden or cut the crust off your peanut butter and Tang sandwich! Nope, he’s here to take that Prince Zarkon character and….and….do awful, graphic things to him. Awful, morally questionable things.

So, you’ve just witnessed a 7,000 foot tall super robot rip the eyelids off a 7″ tall alien. You’re going to need a drink, my friend. Now, how about pouring that drink into the Flash Shot Glass? This red little shot glass features an extreme close up of the Flash’s focused face, as well as the furiously frazzled Flash logo! Flash needs to drink about …4,000 to 8,000 shots per second in order to feel, in his words, “moderately buzzed.”

And look, it’s the Autobot Distressed Symbol Acid Wash T-Shirt! It’s very, very soft. It’s very, very distressed (purposely) and very, very…….neat. Yup. It’s adorned with the very symbol etched onto the thick, alien metals of the peaceful Autobot Transformers! They’re the ones that will try, with all their might, to take a nap on something other than your trailer! That’s how considerate they are. They might, however, smack a garbage truck with a street lamp for fun, but they will NOT sleep on your home. Well, if they’re sober they won’t. Ratchet gets a swig of that “special blend” and you’re looking at 3 weeks in a hotel. Paid for by the Humans for Coexistence with Transforming Sentient Machines (H.C.T.S.M) fund set up 35 days after first contact.

Okay, that’s all I got time for today, but rest assured…I’ll be back nest week with a poop-load more to barter with, bandy and brag about. No foolin!

Tags: autobots, Flash, voltron
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Green Lantern Hoodie! Star Trek Robe! Official Cobra Wear!

Friday, October 14th, 2011

Hey, more new stuff! YAY!

Like the Green Lantern Black & Green Zip-Up Hoodie! It’s black and green! It’s got a huge, screen printed Green Lantern symbol! It zips the hell up! It’s a little lighter than our average hoodie! It’s endorsed by Green Lanterns everywhere! Heck, they might even give you one for being such a good sport during that whole…..invasion of the ring-bearing Zombies. Yup. And it’s soft as can be! Softer than Ogre’s freckle! Man, that’s soft!

Check out the Star Trek Command Terry Cloth Robe! It’s One Size Fits Most! It’s like, the command uniform worn by those… in command…but like, in the form of a robe! Yes, Captain James T Kirk wears the uniform while the camera’s on, but when the final “cut” is called, Kirk slips off the uniform and slips on the robe! Then Spock hands him the martini, Sulu hands him the space-chips and it’s back to…uh…..a more unconventional means of exploring the unknown. Like, with 24 hour, open mic poetry readings. Yup.

And check out the Cobra Distressed Symbol Black 30 Single T-Shirt! You just joined Cobra! You LOVE the perks! You never shot a gun or tossed a grenade, but you hate your parents enough to arm yourself and storm the nation’s capital! Yes, those GiJoe fellas’ punch real hard, but….well, they won’t kill you completely. Nope. Just..uh…just don’t surrender too quickly. I mean, you really should make a go of it, just…well, when Roadblock starts etching his name in your exposed tibia, maybe then you remind him of the Geneva Convention.

Yep, that’s what we got this week, kids. You should probably tell your parents about all the candy we give you and….and how late we let you stay up, and…..and how much fun it is when Superherostuff.com babysits! Hey, where do mom and pops keep the Moosehead and the car keys?

Tags: cobra, Greenlantern, tshirt
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SURPRISE! MORE NEW T-SHIRTS! AVENGERS! GALACTUS! AMAZON SILVER BRACERS (that are not t-shirts)!

Friday, October 7th, 2011

Yes…we added a few new things. Okay, I’m downplaying it; we got 15 million more things. T-Shirts, specifically. More than enough, really. If you like comics but don’t usually go so far as buying a t-shirt…well, maybe for the benefit of others, you reconsider. We really need the space, I need a new car, you need a reason to tick off your parents and I need a new trampoline. Yes, and the car. So…….what you should be focusing on…

It’s the Avengers “A” Symbol T-Shirt! It’s every freakin’ conceivable Avenger (cranium) floating within the Avengers’ “A” symbol! The Avengers are Marvel’s premiere super-team, bound together in the hopes of defending…those of us who can’t fly, usually, or those of us who look especially tasty to Ultron. Yep. Anyway, just check out this cranial collection of classic and contemporary Avengers members: It’s the Black Smoke! It’s Hardy Robot! It’s Captain Altruistic! It’s the Red Temptress! And look, there’s Sir Viking! Yep, all the classic characters!

Good gravy, it’s the GALACTUS. Need We Say More? 30 Single T-Shirt! Where were you when Galactus showed up, hovering above New Jersey? Where was I? I was at home, glued to the television, eating a moonpie between 2 pieces of pizza….which layered the top of an ice-cream cake. Yep. I was watching as people milling about full service gas stations were deprived of their personal gravity and sucked into the eyes of Galactus. I was finishing my 13th can of Pringles when footage of Captain America screaming at Galactus’ foot started playing and recycling every 75 seconds. If you watched it enough, you could sort of distinguish what Cap was saying. Something like, “America is big enough to kick you in the @$#@$%!” Something like that.

Have you seen these? The Amazon Silver Bracers Set? They’re high grade stainless steel. No, they’re not divinely constructed, but they sort of look like it, don’t they? Yeah, they do. So, will the wearer of these costume bracers gain the ability to deflect bullets, spears, pumpkins, cats or popsicles? Probably not. Wait….maybe the popsicles. Anyway, they’re just freaking awesome. Really. They absolutely look the part if what you’re looking for happens to be magical bracers crafted by once revered deities that spent a lot of time making each other miserable. Yup.

Okay, I know I wanted you to pick a t-shirt, but……what the heck, the bracers are shiny. That’s beneficial, right? Hang ‘em from your dang rear-view for all I care. Anyway, there they are; cool stuff that lays the foundation for more cool stuff. That lays the foundation for more cool stuff. You ever drown in cool? Nope? Well, it’s happening to me right now (cough-cack!).

Tags: Avengers, galactus, tshirt
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New SHIELD T-Shirt! New Cap and New X-Men! It’s Simply Too Much!

Friday, September 30th, 2011

Yes, many more t-shirts passed through these hallowed, warehouse walls and…ended up on my desk. Then, after staring at them for 15 days without establishing any viable method of communication (I thought I heard something when I tried “fire-speak,” but it was just the wind) I decided to make them available on our website! For YOU! You’re welcome! Anyway, no, t-shirts don’t speak any known language. They do, however, snore. Ahem. Let’s get on with it ’cause I think I may be losing you already….

It’s the SHIELD Symbol Blue 30 Single T-Shirt! They’re SHIELD! It’s the preeminent branch of scientifically advanced spy-police set in the Marvel Comic Book Universe! If the Hulk rampages through an ACE Hardware, SHIELD gets the call! If the Beyonder drops his kids off at the moon, SHIELD gets the call! If Galactus orders a pizza with anchovies and does not in fact, get anchovies….SHIELD gets the call! I mean, last time Galactus didn’t get anchovies, the Fish people of Condensationara IV received a visit from an especially agitated, cosmic demi-god hankering for a multitude of anchovy substitutes! It was a bad day at Condensationara IV. In fact is was the last day at Condensationara. HAH!

It’s the X-Men Power of Magneto Distressed 30 Single T-Shirt! Yep, it’s a scene taken from the X-Mens’ formative years. This was back before Magneto was overused to the point of being a freakin’ punchline. Remeber that? Remember when Magneto would show up and there was actually….gravitas to his appearance? Remember? Now, he’s a freaking fixture. “Oh, no….it’s Magneto. He’s going to make us all pay for our crimes of intolerance. Ho-freakin’-hum.” Anyway, I guess this week he’s a questionable ally. Welcome back, Magneto. Maybe give us a heads up when you flip back to super-jerk.

And lastly, it’s the Captain America Shattered Shield 30 Single T-Shirt! It’s a soft, 30 Single T-Shirt featuring a…less durable iteration of Cap’s trusty shield. Yup. Wonder if this glass-constructed shield was part of a plot to…confuse Cap. Maybe someone especially diabolical was hoping Cap might take this particular shield with him into battle. Yup. Maybe the switch would take place while Cap was…listening to the Shadow or something. Yeah, maybe. Although, I’m pretty sure this ingenious artifice would immediately falter as soon as Cap noticed…….he could see through the dang thing. Ugh.

Okay, we’re done here; you and you and you and you and I. We all have better places to be, better things to do and better places and things to be and do. But, before we separate, please remember this: The more you buy, the more we grow. The more we grow, the more influence we have. The more influence we have, the more likely it is Disney will make us an offer. Then….then we can afford a planet. It’s not a bad dream to have. Nope, not at all.

Tags: captainamerica, shield, tshirt
Posted in Merchandise | 1 Comment »

So Many New T-Shirts. So…Many. Future Foundation, Doc Strange..Oh, and a few thousand more!

Friday, July 15th, 2011

Man alive, do we have a TON of freakin’$@#$ for you. A TON OF #!#$@#$!!!! We got the Future Foundation T-Shirts! Every specific, geometrical symbol for each member! We have them for both Men And Women! Next time you take your mother along to a comic book convention, make sure she’s wearing one! Ahem. We got Doctor Strange! We even got another @##@$# Silver Surfer t-shirt! Yes, they still make those! Allow me to elaborate:

image-tsffmrfantsym-primary-small-right

The FF Mr Fantastic Symbol 30 Single T-Shirt is a soft white t-shirt adorned with Mr Fantastic’s Future Foundation Symbol! Brought to you by the letter “F.” Ahem. As progenitor of the fabled Fantastic Four, Mister Fantastic enjoyed dressing quantum particles in pink dresses before rendering them in the form of a steak sandwich. Yes, that’s what he did! Anyway, after “Unca’ Johnny” went the way of most people with the potential for mimicking the last, explosive outburst of a dying star, the Fantastic Four…was no more! But they had to continue. They just had to. And….they did. Enter: The Future Foundation! Oh, and now they offer dental! HAH!

The Dr Strange Issue #4 Cover 30 Single T-Shirt. It’s creepy cool…like Doctor Strange. image-tsdrstrangeskull-primary-good The guy walks into a room and you’re like….terrified but unimaginably curious. Then he starts saying stuff without vowels and the room goes dark. Oh, and then something that looks like a fluorescent mushroom starts telling you about living to your potential; about the four-dimensional Hectomeat that’s hanging from between your teeth. Because you ate Hectomeat last week in the form of golden sausages at the behest of Dormammu who took on the visage of your Uncle Rick . A day in the life, baby.

image-tssurfcoshigh-primary-good And now…..The Silver Surfer Cosmic Highway 30 Single T-Shirt! That’s right, we managed to snag another @#$@#ing Silver Surfer Tee! Do you know how difficult that is!!?? Do you have any idea!!!??? Do you know how @#$%ing hard it is to get the Silver #$%ing Surfer to sit down in a conference room and sign off on a design? It’s…it’s a bitch. And there’s this whole clause where Galactus gets final approval on design, production and materials and…..well, if he doesn’t send a letter along with the Surfer, it’s off to the FF to grab a @#$%$ing shuttle and find the planet-sized @#$$er so he can sign 50 pages of legal crap so we can all go home and print like, a thousand tees. How does Galactus sign the documents?? DON’T ASK ME THAT!!!!!!! DO NOT!!!!

Ahem. SO…lot’s of cool stuff. There’s even more cool stuff on the website. Yep. I wouldn’t steer you wrong, friend.. Heck no. Take a look, click a link, peruse a page. It’s okay to spend money here. Really. We’ll certainly like you more if you do. And that’s pretty important, right? Right.

Tags: doctorstrange, futurefoundation, T-Shirts
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Superhero Jackets (among other things). Cap the Snickering!

Thursday, June 23rd, 2011

Yes, we went ahead and did it; we acquired Superhero jackets for kids and adults. You laugh, you point. You think to yourself, “How ostentatious.” Need I remind you…..until recently, Wonder Woman wore star spangled underwear. Your skewed perspective of what’s stylish is…skewed. The only problem I see with these jackets: The lack of a cape. So, my friends; my comic book loving friends who follow the exploits of flamboyantly colorful characters driven by tumultuous circumstances fighting the greatly exaggerated good fight….let’s dig the hell in.

batjacketgood It’s the Batman Caped Crusader Twill Jacket. It’s Twill. It’s got Batman’s logo in giant, concave lettering surrounded by some crazy, tribal bordering cutting and angling in a nearly blue neon. It’s got raised and embroidered Batman leaping at you, demanding your adherence to Justice. Wondering where the justice is in a comic book market moving away from material, monthly issues. Nah, maybe he just wants to break the nose off that ugly mug of yours. At the very least, you were thinking about jaywalking.

It’s the Batman Tough Knight Kids Jacket. It’s Twill. It’s..for the kiddies! Parents, how image-jackkidsbattough-primary-good much do you love your children? Wait, I can answer that. The answer is…barely . How do I know this? Well, ask yourself: “Have I purchased the Batman Tough Knight Jacket for my child…who happens to be a Batman fan?” You’ll probably answer with something like….”No.” After you come to the conclusion that you are, in fact, a terrible, hateful parent, please be sure to add this item to your cart. Quickly, before your child finds out just how dull your love runs.

image-jacksupchains-primary-good

It’s the Superman Chains Twill Jacket. Also twill, also a jacket. And yes, it features printed chains surrounding a raised Superman symbol. For the seventy-millionth time…..chains wont do it. Nope. They won’t hold Superman. Sure, there may be an existential interpretation here; something about the perseverance of the individual while chained by the expectations of societal structure….or direct, openly disagreeable, singular acts of societal obstruction (translation- having to head-butt stupid people). But I’m telling you, the last 4000 or so wise guys who came up with binding Superman to a canoe with chains…..well, they were sorely dissapointed.

Oh, and we got like…10 million other things. Like the Thor Time of the Hammer 30 Single T-Shirt. It’s Thor, it’s obviously Hammer Time and anything resembling a giant is in danger of being beaten into asgardian jelly. Or the Flash Too Young Junk Food T-Shirt. It’s from Junk Food, which makes it better than you. It’s got the Flash’s dusty old noggin and some clever little fit of contrived wordplay that yes, touches on the Flash’s immaculate speed. Now, enough about what’s new. It’s back to work, back to back and forward towards….getting through another issue of NFL Superpro. Jealous?

Tags: Superhero jackets, T-Shirts, Thor
Posted in Merchandise | 3 Comments »

New Flashpoint Tees and….More tees.

Friday, June 17th, 2011

SO…what have we gotten in recently? Why has it been so long since I blogged about….what we got in recently? Well, the reason for the extended time between posting is……….we got way too much in recently. I mean….I’m talkin’ a lot of stuff here. Oh, and you should thank me. Why? Because I managed to navigate the dimensional membrane known as “The Bleed” to score us some new tees from the Flashpoint Universe. Yes, I still can’t crap right, my left eye is completely useless and everything smells like tomato toothpaste…but the sub-dimensional slaloming was worth it! Case in point, check out the Flashpoint Wonder Woman Symbol T-Shirt, the Flashpoint Flash Symbol T-Shirt and the Flashpoint Reverse Flash Symbol T-Shirt! CHECK THEM OUT, I SAID!!!!!!!

image-tsflashpntflashsym-primary-trial image-tsflashpntrvrssym-primary-small-trial1 image-tsflashpntwwsym-primary-trial

Cool stuff, right?

RIGHT!!!???

KEEP CHECKING THEM OUT! DO NOT WAVER!! Flashpoint is what happens when volatile personalities have the ability to alter time. That guy you flipped off in traffic? Guess what? He just went back to the day after you were born and cut off your left testicle. Feel the deficiency in your crotch yet!!!??? Just be nice, is what I’m saying. BE NICE!

Oh, and we got a crap-ton more..uh, crap! Check out the Green Lantern Fist Junk Food T-Shirt! Just in time for the movie! Again! And check out the Flash Six Villains Junk Food T-Shirt. I know, I know….. it’s more Flash and you’ve nearly had enough already. But…it’s a classic image of the Rogues thwarting Flash with his very own logo! See where ego gets you!!!?? And look! Awwwwwww…SO CUTE!!! It’s the Iron Man Marvel Plush Toy! If you ever had the urge to cuddle with an armored alcoholic, here’s your chance!

Okay, I’m done; there’s just way too much crap piling the hell up here to go into anything lengthy. Sorry. Look, just go to the damn site and take a quick peek. Bet’cha find like….10,000 things you have to own. Bet’cha. No? Try harder.

Tags: Flash, Flashpoint, T-Shirts
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Archive for the ‘Merchandise’ Category

New Bane T-Shirts! New Family Guy! New Me! New You! New…She-Ra!!??

New Shot Glasses! New T-Shirts! It’s New!

Green Lantern Hoodie! Star Trek Robe! Official Cobra Wear!

SURPRISE! MORE NEW T-SHIRTS! AVENGERS! GALACTUS! AMAZON SILVER BRACERS (that are not t-shirts)!

New SHIELD T-Shirt! New Cap and New X-Men! It’s Simply Too Much!

So Many New T-Shirts. So…Many. Future Foundation, Doc Strange..Oh, and a few thousand more!

Superhero Jackets (among other things). Cap the Snickering!

New Flashpoint Tees and….More tees.

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