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Kill List Movie Review

Tuesday, January 31st, 2012

Feel like taking some time out for a movie that doesn’t involve capes or guys running around in ridiculously uncomfortable-looking rubber body armor? Let’s give it a shot, starting with a little British film that leaps genres in a single bound, and sometimes a single scene: Kill List.

It’s going to be difficult to discuss it without a ton of SPOILERS, but fantasy/horror fans might not think to bother with it at all without knowing at least a few of its secrets. Kill List starts out with Jay and Shel having Jay’s friend Gal and Gal’s new girlfriend over for dinner. Even this seemingly innocuous beginning is quickly infused with an ominous tone as booze is consumed, conflicts emerge, and eventually Jay flies into a rage and pulls a tablecloth trick sans magic. Everything turns so uncomfortable that Gal ends up putting his hosts’ kid to bed. It turns out that the two men are in fact contract killers, and that Jay has recently returned from a particularly troublesome job to lick his wounds as a stay-at-home dad. But as we all know, you’re never out of that particular game in movieland. He’s soon pulled back into another job by his friend, one with a supposedly quick and easy “kill list”.

As Jay and Gal stalk their prey and learn just what reprehensible acts they seem to be avenging, Jay slips deeper into his own unhinged mind, carrying out the kills with a violence that sickens even his partner. There’s plenty of gore on hand, including a hammer scene that makes a hammer seem an almost novel choice of weapon, and that’s no easy feat, as far as I’m concerned. From there, Kill List threatens to spiral out of control, and I guess plenty of people will think it does, but I’ll be damned if I wasn’t along for the ride. What began as a grim family drama, then turned into an off-kilter (and blackly comic) hitman tale with a bit of the ultraviolence ultimately dovetails into a horrific homage to one of the greatest British terror films of all-time (hint: Nicholas Cage was in the execrable and pointless remake (2nd hint: though execrable and pointless, Season of the Witch was not a remake)). Writer-director Ben Wheatley plants the seeds of dread early enough and deep enough that the wicked turn the story takes doesn’t seem to come out of left field so much as it does from the darkness that surrounds the movie from the first scene. Since watching, I’ve read high praise and damning criticism, but I’ll stick with the former, and say Kill List is well worth checking out, as is Wheatley’s previous feature Down Terrace.

Tags: Kill List, Movie Review
Posted in Movies | No Comments »

Henry Cavill Superman Man Of Steel Suit Analyses

Thursday, August 4th, 2011

Henry Cavill is Superman in Man of Steel

Man of Steel – June 14 2013

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past year, or stuck in an Iranian prison camp, you already know about the new and up coming Superman movie, Man of Steel, that’s coming out in 2013. We’re not going to bore you with the details other than Henry Cavill is a British actor who has appeared in The Count of Monte Cristo and Stardust, and played the role of Charles Brandon, 1st Duke of Suffolk, on the Showtime series The Tudors, is playing Clark Kent/Superman. The director is Zack Snyder, who’s known for directing Sucker Punch, Watchmen, 300, Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole and Dawn of the Dead (2004).

Analyses of Henry Cavill’s Man of Steel Suit

The Hair

The Hair: Here are our immediate thoughts on the new suit. First, the hair. Yeah, we’re going to talk about his hair, so shut up. No, it’s not the traditional Superman cow lick swirl, and yeah it’s reminiscent of John Travolta in Grease, but we can live with it and it’s not a deal breaker. As long as he’s tall, dark and handsome and has a mean jaw and the muscles to back it up, that’s what’s most important.

The Cape

The Cape: If you’ve ever taken time to study Superman’s cape, the way it inserts into his shirt, you’ll see that it’s quite different from what Batman has going on. In the comics, it actually kind of tucks in under the shirt. Christopher Reeve did a great job in duplicating what we saw in the comics. Here, Henry’s costume people are making some drastic changes.

Notice the outline seam and the “slots” that are specially designed for the cape to insert into. On one hand, at first glance, it mirrors the comic, but on close inspection, it’s a step in a more technical direction. If you’ve ever tried to make a Superman cape and attempted to attach it to your body, so it looks like the comic or movie, you’ll know it’s an extremely challenging task. It’s incredibly hard to pull it off correctly. Snyder’s team looks like they’ve put a LOT of thought into how this looks, attempting to stay true to the comic while incorporating a technical apsect possibly due to the realistic issues raised when one wears a cape. Yeah, it’s a deviation, but they pretty much have to in order to get the desired look we need and want.

The Shield & Blue Suit

The Shield & Blue Suit: The “S” symbol is clearly a throwback to an older school Superman symbol. Thank god. THANK FRAKING GOD! Snyder ISN’T trying to change something merely for the sake of changing it, marking his territory with something new, “Zack Snyder was here!” I’m sorry but Bryan Singer did NOT make Superman correct and took advantage of artistic license for no valid reason. The presentation of the “S” is the foundation for the entire outfit, hero and movie. Snyder is doing it right, and though it’s an older style symbol, it looks like his heart is in the right place and he’s right on course. This give us hope. …A New Hope!*

Having said that…. what the hell is going on with the fish scale/Spider-Man movie suit pattern on his blue tights? Here is what we think. Take a look at Christopher Reeve’s outfit, you see “seams.” In the comics, there are no seams, unless you’re looking at something Alex Ross did and then it’s ok. It’s not just the seams, it’s the implied message behind them, “if there is a watch then there is a watchmaker,” if there are seams, then there is a seam maker,” … a stitcher, tailor, an old lady using a Singer sewing machine adding a hem and pleats. All depictions of mortal, reality… poof! There goes our suspension of disbelief, at least for the comic-technophiles.

No… best to avoid all the questions and delve straight into the comic concept of “it’s magic, don’t ask too many questions or you’ll get slapped.” Like, “how does Spider-Man crawl on walls?” Shut up! Just accept it.” The lack of seams is an absence of distraction. .. .(what? too many double negatives) .. ok, the seams brings Superman down to Earth and gets in the way of our suspension of disbelief. Snyder’s suit here looks like it is helping us with our suspension.

We’re also thinking that in order to pull the whole thing off, (making it work and come together) the “scale” or “cell” look (as seen in Spider-Man) is part needed technical and part aesthetic. Technical, possibly as a micro, seamless layer affixed atop an underlying suit. Aesthetic as to help create that shine we see on superheroes’ suits (heroes don’t wear cotton) without it looking like Mylar. … Yeah, we’re speculating, but we’re still hoping that there is most likely a valid, technical reason for the celled look and that it was not done willy-nilly.

The Cape Pleats

The Cape Again: The cape is critical. If you look at Christopher Reeve’s photos, you’ll see that his cape is relatively flat, not much happening. (No, we’re not criticizing Christopher, that would be sacrilege. We’re just pointing out a comparison.) If you take a look at Chris Hemsworth’s cape from Thor, you’ll see that director Kenneth Branagh introduced some massive, elevated pleats that look like they literally jumped right out of the comic book. They’re perfect. Henry’s Man of Steel cape looks like they’ve gone along the same lines with the pleats, but toned them down a bit to rest on his shoulders. The pleats add dimension and girth to the cape.

Again, if you’ve ever worked with a cape before, tried to cut and sew and attach to your person, you’ll know that a pleated cape is much, much more impressive (due to overflowing and cascading material down the back) when compared to a non pleated cape that seems to just lie there. This new design is a good thing.

The Boots

The Boots: For once… the boots are perfect. PERFECT. Look at any Superman comic and you will see:

Snug red boot coming up, just below the knee,
“V” notch in front,
Tapering downward towards the calf in back
An ever so light seam about an inch below the top portion of the boot.

Notice how snug they look, not like the pieces of garbage that we saw in Superman Returns, did you take a good look at them? They’re hideous.

Overall, the colors are back on track as well, especially the red. Singer’s Superman outfit went away from the comic book red and jumped head long into “rusty brown.” However, Snyder’s red, though not as bright as Christopher Reeve’s nor as bright as we see in the comics, is an acceptable, muted red that not only honors and pays homage to the comics but is needed to maintain a realistic and plausible effect, since, too bright of colors on a superhero costume introduces the “yellow spandex” effect which just throws everything out the window.

Timex? .. or web-shooter?

We like what we see and we think Snyder is on the right path. If this picture is indicative of what we are to see in the Man of Steel movie, then we are standing beside ourselves, bursting with fruit flavor in antici….pation. … the only thing we want to know is, … is that a Kryptonian Timex he’s wearing or a web-shooter?

- Ronando

Tags: Henry Cavill, Man of Steel, superman
Posted in Movie Review, Movies | 15 Comments »

The Next Wonder Woman

Friday, July 22nd, 2011

Who's The Next Wonder Woman?

Let’s face it, comic fans are the biggest whiners on the planet. No, really, we are. But, nobody can say that it’s not justified. Especially with all of the recent complaints about the decisions made by writers and directors when it comes to putting our favorite superheroes on screen. The movie industry has a fantastic track record of JUST NOT GETTING IT. Here’s just a couple of examples, bear with me.

Spider-Man: Sam Raimi seems to think (yes, I’m going there, just hold your flame) that not only is it ok to ignore historical canon but it’s also ok to interpret the comics incorrectly and use outdated material. For the last 30 years, the only person who seems to have thought that Peter was still “puny Parker” was Flash Thompson, and of course Sam Raimi. Which is why he cast Tobey Maguire for the role. It’s as if someone gave Raimi, or his casting director, a couple old Steve Ditko (no disrespect intended whatsoever) comics and said, “there’s your Spider-Man boss, we’re off for lunch.”

No More Puny!

No! No! NONONONO! Toby’s a great actor, but he isn’t Peter Parker. For those of you who’ve forgotten, Peter grew up to be a freakin’ stud, he just never knew it. THIS, is Peter Parker!* He’s ripped with muscles, can lift a fridge with one hand and a school bus if he really tried. Hell, I’ve even seen him tip a rail car over with one finger!!! “So what! What’s this have to do with casting Wonder Woman?” We’re getting there, we’re getting there hold on. We’re not done b!tching yet.

What else was wrong with the Spider-Man (2002 – 2007) movies? Let’s just say, “lack of adherence to comic canon!” The one major ingredient to the inspired Geek-Rage when hero movies come out. E.g.

Organic web-shooters replacing mechanical web-shooters.
Finger talons in place of genuine, “don’t-ask-any-questions wall crawling abilities.”
Emo Parker.
Parker crying.
Skinny Eddie Brock! Yes, yes, we know the reason why Raimi picked Topher Grace (which is a fine actor) but Raimi still got it wrong!
Venom! Granted, you can’t include the entire Secret Wars story line, but still… Venom has a white symbol, WHITE! *Shakes fist!*
Mary JaneJ! MJ is a supermodel. SUPERMODEL! Kirsten Dunst (who’s a fine actress and very cute) simply isn’t a supermodel. (Sorry Kirsten, but neither are we.)

What did Raimi get right?

J. Jonah Jameson! J.K. Simmons was perfect!
Aunt May/Rosemary Harris and Uncle Ben/Cliff Robertson
Doc Ock
Gwen Stacy/Bryce Dallas Howard (smoking hot)
Betty Brant/Elizabeth Banks
And the costume eventually grew on us.

This same … “formula,” violating comic canon, miscast actors, pulling emo out of a writer’s a$$, is systemic. To spare you the details, here’s the nutshell:

The Amazing Spider-Man (2012): In the upcoming The Amazing Spider-Man (2012), the costume is completely different, again. I can hear you flamers right now b!tching, “How can you judge the movie when you haven’t even seen it?!?” Shuddup already. Not judging the movie, judging the friggin’ costume. Give it a rest. Continuing on; mechanical web-shooters! That’s right, they can’t win when a comic geek’s complaining. If Raimi was such a damn genius, then we wouldn’t be going back to Peter’s sly inventions now, would we? But we are, and thank god for it, but they look ridiculous! If you want to see what the web-shooters are supposed to look like, click here. What else? Oh yeah, Peter’s parents are not only “back” (as seen in the comics) but apparently are there from the beginning! (which is not in the comics). Yeah, sure, it’s most likely a contrived ploy to fit in with the whole S.H.I.E.L.D. bit, but that’s what we hate, contrived, “square peg/round hole” manipulations to meet the directors ends, not our needs. BAH!

X-Men Origins: Wolverine: What was right? Hugh Jackman. What was wrong? The biggest gripe I can think of right now is Deadpool. Ryan Reynolds is fine, but that piece of garbage that was supposed to be Deadpool… someone should have been fired and shipped to Iraq for making such an idiot move. What In THEE HELL were they thinking? Adamantium blades, optic blast, sewn mouth and teleporting without a device (DP uses a mechanical device to teleport. It’s not an organic skill).

Superman Returns: Returns from what? Give me a break. Brandon Routh looks great, is tall, looks good and even plays a great Clark Kent, but I’m sorry, he’s no Superman. Simply because he’s not massive enough. Superman is huge, big, muscles everywhere. Brandon Routh has an Olympic swimmer’s body; lean, too lean, like a barracuda, and sure he has some muscles, yeah, but even Hugh Jackman had more mass than Routh, and that’s just wrong. What else? Swim suit shorts. BAH! And you just HAD to change the symbol, didn’t you. Had to leave YOUR mark, your signature, pissing on everything, “Singer was here!”

The list goes on, it literally doesn’t stop. Which brings us to Wonder Woman. Who should play Wonder Woman? The key is first figuring out what Wonder Woman is, and what she is not. It’s not that hard, really. All you have to do is open a couple dozen gorram Wonder Woman comic and start reading.

What Is Needed In A Wonder Woman?

A long list of very simple concepts.

Tall – Wonder Woman is 5’11″. At that height there aren’t that many applicants, but at least it screens out all of the shorter women.
Beautiful – Not just beautiful, but drop dead, traffic stopping beautiful.
Exotic – Not your average bombshell from California or Texas, but more of a Mediterranean look, slightly ethnic with olive skin.
Perfectly proportioned – Yeah, sure guys go nuts over the Pamella Anderson type Thunder Boobs look, but Wonder Woman isn’t about that. She’s statuesque, has curves without being ridiculously over endowed.
Has a build – Yeah,sure guys like skinny girls, but Wonder Woman is an Amazon, which means she has muscles. If you were to put a bunch of comic geeks in a room full of Mt. Dew and Cheetos, you’d hear them say that her strength is arguably just shy of Superman’s. If push came to shove, she can even hold her own against the Hulk. … for a while. Then she’d have to pull an Ultimates Wasp move on him if she wanted to stop him in his tracks.
Can fight – Movie makers never seem to understand that the audience can tell when a woman can’t fight on screen. It’s like, watching a girl throw a baseball (granted, there are lots of highly athletic girls/women out there, (who can throw better than 90% of the guys out there) but this comment is in reference to the very non-athletic girl throwing a ball). What comes to mind is casting someone like Michelle Yeoh in a fight scene.
Can act – Last, but definitely not least, we won’t be fooled by big boobs and panties. … ok, so we can be fooled but we’re going to b!tch about it after the movie’s done playing. Yeah, sure we’ll buy the DVD, but we’ll still b!tch about it. Wonder Woman has to act. We won’t let the movie people get away with just showing us cheese cake! … well, a little cheese cake is ok, but please don’t let the show ride on that alone.

Some Wonder Woman Applicants

We searched the interwebs for relative unknowns or missed opportunities and we found several beauties who we feel come close to the embodiment of Wonder Woman.

Elisabetta Canalis: At 5’7″ Elisabetta is a stunning Italian actress who also happens to be George Clooney’s girlfriend. (Go George!). She appeared in Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo and romantic comedy Virgin Territory.

Laetitia Casta: Though, only 5’5″, Laetitia has many of the prerequisites to be Wonder Woman, if not another Amazon on Themyscira. She is a French model & actress. She was the official face of L’Oréal, Dior, and Chanel. She’s been featured in Tommy Hilfiger, Guess Jeans, Miu Miu and XOXO ad campaigns and has appeared on over 100 magazine covers including Victoria’s Secret catalogs, ELLE magazine, and Vogue magazine. She also appeared in 3 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issues, Rolling Stone, and a Pirelli Calendar and was the face of Ralph Lauren’s newest fragrance, Notorious. Laetitia is no slouch.

Moran Atias: At a STUNNING 5’9″ Moran is mind shattering gorgeous Israeli actress and model. She’s so hot, she could be a waitress or …or an airline stewardess in the 60s. She was discovered in Italy by Roberto Cavalli and was cast in the Israeli “Strauss” commercial and chosen to lead the “Renuar” campaign. She has also won the title of Miss Israel. If you have ever known, or met Israeli women, you will know that they are some of the most beautiful women in the world. Ai chi-wawa!

Ayelet Zurer: Ayelet is another Israeli actress, best known for her roles in Nina’s Tragedies, Adam Resurrected, Munich, and Angels & Demons. Though. Though she is no spring chicken, she (at the very least) has what it takes to play Hippolyta. The one thing we do know about Isralie women. … they can fight. Everyone in Israel is drafted into the military for two years, though, unless you’re a supermodel, then you can dodge it, however it’s considered a big no-no there. … I think I’m going to have to go rent Angels & Demons now.

We could go on and on, but we think you get the idea. Let’s just hope that the people who come together to create the next Wonder Woman TV show or movie does their due diligence to research Wonder Woman and understand who she is and what she represents. If you’re looking to get a good understanding on DC’s retconned Wonder Woman, we highly suggest George Perez’s Wonder Woman: God and Mortals. Another good book to get is Wonder Woman: Hiketeia. And, as usual, your thoughts are welcome. We know many of you won’t agree, but at least we’re trying to set the standard.

George Perez's Wonder Woman: God And Mortals

* “No More Puny” What comic, issue, what year, and what page is this on? The first Person to send us the correct answer (at facebook @ superherostuff.com) to all of these questions wins a free t-shirt! Winner will be posted here.

Tags: Wonder Woman
Posted in Movies, Superheroes, TV | 17 Comments »

Green Lantern Movie Review – Spoilers

Monday, June 20th, 2011

green-lantern-movie-hal-jordan-ryan-reynolds Green Lantern was directed by Martin Campbell, (Casino Royale 2006, Edge of Darkness 2010), written by Greg Berlanti (Green Lantern: Emerald Knights, Brothers & Sisters TV series, Eli Stone TV series), Michael Green (Heroes TV series), Marc Guggenheim (Brothers & Sisters TV series, Eli Stone TV series, FlashForward TV series) and Michael Goldenberg (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix screenplay, Peter Pan screenplay).

Hal Jordan was played by Ryan Reynolds (Buried, Paper Man, X-Men Origins: Wolverine) while his love interest Carol Ferris was played by Blake Lively (Gossip Girl TV series, The Town, The Private Lives of Pippa Lee) and was absolutely gorgeous. Sinestro was played by Mark Strong (Robin Hood:Godfrey, Kick-Ass:Frank D’Amico, Sherlock Holmes:Lord Blackwood) and did a spectacular job, as usual. Hector Hammond was played by Peter Sarsgaard (Knight and Day:Fitzgerald, Orphan:John Coleman, In the Electric Mist:Elrod Sykes).

By now, everyone knows that the mainstream media visciously panned Green Lantern, to the point that Rotten Tomatoes gave it a patheric 26% . This was partially brought on by the questionable CGI (computer-generated imagery) that everyone was complaining about. The CGI was such an issue that even YouTube’s ItsJustSomeRandomGuy made fun of the mask in his “Hi, I’m a Marvel…and I’m a DC” video.

Magneto: “You want to talk image problems with that mask!? Is ILM going to be done with that thing before the BluRay comes out?”

When it comes to Superhero movies, it’s generally the geeks who come unglued. And if you’re reading this, you know it’s true since you’ve probably partaken in some of the flaming rants yourself:

Spider-Man

Spider-Man 3

Iron Man 2

X-Men: The Last Stand

Superman Returns

Fantastic Four

Wanted

Ghost Rider

The list is endless. Let’s face it, us comic fans are whiny, complaining little brats! … or could it possibly be that movie makers simply can’t make a real, REAL comic book movie if their life depended on it. But then again, even us geeks can’t make up our minds, Watchmen is a perfect example, was it good or not? It’s a coin toss, but personally, I loved it! Yaa for blue pee pees!

The interesting thing is that, everyone and their dog expected Green Lantern to suck yak nuggets. We were apprehensive as hell. What happened? We asked our Facebook fans, who saw it early, what they thought. They responded with an overwhelming positive response! They loved it! We were blown away. What the hell happened? For once, we were pleasantly surprised, aside from Heath Ledger’s massively perfect performance.

Why was Green Lantern good? Why were the movie critics in such unanimous opposition to what the geeks had to say? Here’s our thoughts.

They stuck to comic canon. Not that hard, but most screenplay writers simply can’t open up a couple dozen comics and read the damn story and history on a hero. They covered all the basics to an adequate degree that the heavy duty, uber-geeks were happy. They even included an explanation (kinda) to the events leading to Abin Sur’s crash landing on Earth. You know, the question all fans asked over the years, “Why did Abin Sur need a ship if he could fly and couldn’t his ring help heal him?” So, they got that right and even added to the story.
They got Ferris Airfield down, the background of Hal’s father and his jacket, him being a hot shot pilot and even included an interesting display of Hal going up against some drones. They got Tomar Ra, Kilowag and the Guardians down perfectly. Oa was believable and Sinestro was superb. I loved seeing him work in Hal’s “training session.” They really showed what someone who had a strong will power could do with their ring. And did you notice Sinestro’s scars in his face? Made him look that much tougher. Don’t mess with Sinestro!
The CGI was better than expected. Sure we thought it would be distracting, and sure they special effects guys had a challenge of making a suit that is supposed to be a construct out of light, not made of real material, without making it look like a poor CGI job but damnit, they pulled it off and the suits were alright.
They bridged the origin and Blackest Night together in one movie, as well as leaving room for GL II with the Yellow Lantern corps.
Ryan Reynolds delivered. Many of us thought he was too much a goof ball to carry the role of Hal Jordan, but he ended up winning us over.
The last scene was awesome. Constructing two fighters to pull him from the gravity well was just too cool. And, to give a nod to old-school comics, Hal finishes the job with a big green right cross.
Blake Lively was incredibly hot. No, seriously. Smoking hot. I’m talking, “move over Megan Fox” kinda hot. Her acting was adequate, but she wasn’t totally convincing as the Top Gun type of pilot. Tom Cruise, she aint.
The mask. …ok, the mask sucked. They should have done a better job with it, but moving on.
There was an adequate amount of humor, and some good fight scenes. Peter Sarsgaard (Hector Hammond) was fantastic as a creepy scientist. And Angela Bassett was a great cold hearted, head turning scientist as well, playing Dr. Amanda Waller quite convincingly. … loved them heels.

In short, the movie delivered beyond our expectations.It wasn’t the best out there, but it still delivered an entertaining two hours that was convincing with good graphics and decent story line that held our attention and stuck good enough to canon to keep us from ripping it apart. Again, it was better than expected. It’s unfortunate that mainstream media had to be so harsh on the movie when it’s quite apparent that fans, true comic fans, thoroughly enjoyed it. We suggest you go see the movie, and if you’re not totally familiar with Blackest Night or the origins of Green Lantern, go visit your local comic shop guy and tell him to hook you up.

06242011 Addition: YouTube’s ItsJustSomeRandomGuy made a follow up to his original post about the Green Lantern movie.

- Ronando

Tags: Blake Lively, Green Lantern, Hal Jordan, Ryan Reynolds
Posted in Movies, Random Musings | 13 Comments »

Thor Movie Review

Saturday, May 7th, 2011

Just Saw Thor Tonight! – Spoilers

Ok, our thoughts on Thor. As we said before, Superhero movies need to be taken in two types of contexts:

Is it entertainment on its own?
Does it honor the Comic Canon?

Many Superhero films fail w/respect to violating comic canon; Spider-Man organic web-shooters, Wonder Woman being a corporate executive, Superman having a kid with Lois, Batman having twin 30 caliber machine guns mounted in the Batmobile, Deadpool looking like an abortion, Catwoman… the list goes on

A sub category of not honoring comic canon is regarding the costumes; some just suck. Captain America’s rubber ears, Punisher not having a symbol, some characters in Smallville, Brandon Routh’s Superman outfit, Catwoman’s silly outfit and NBC’s Wonder Woman Brazilian bellhop outfit. There is never an end to movies ruining the superhero transition from comic to screen. They simply can’t get it right.

However, they did get it right with Thor. Starting with Kenneth Branagh, the director, himself.

Kenneth Branagh - In our not so humble opinion, Kenneth Branagh did an excellent job in having Thor meet expectations in both realms. The movie was entertaining in it’s own right and still managed to honor the comics to the extent that was needed, where higher profile superheroes need more attention to detail than lower profile superhero stories. Branagh also managed to bring in some new concepts of his own such as the implicit concept that the Asgardians aren’t really gods, just powerful beings from another realm.

Thor/Chris Hemsworth – Aussie Chris Hemsworth was perfect as Thor. The guy is a literally built like a Norse god, he’s freaking huge. And when you see him without his shirt, you can hear every woman in the room gasp, including my wife who I heard whisper, “Oh… My.. .GOD!” Yeah… he makes all us guys look bad, note to self, no more donuts and cookies for 6 months. Hemsworth played the petulant, arrogant trouble maker looking for a scrap with Frost giants with complete conviction. His internal growth was just as believable as well as he transitioned from the hot headed fool into someone with compassion who saw the value in not obliterating his enemies.

I had trouble with the costume when we first saw images of Thor last year; it just looked too sci-fi and techno. But Branagh did a good job in creating a convincing Celtic-Tech look that looked cool as well as functional for battle. Many times movies make costumes look good, but not practical with respect to fighting with swords and spears. Thor’s cape, as in the comics, was an impressive sight as it was lifted off of his shoulders. This is important because when you put the comic version of Thor next to Superman, Thor’s cape always has a certain type of lift to it that just makes him look like a truly heroic figure and not just some guy wearing a cape.

Mjölnir – Mjölnir is Thor’s hammer. In the original Norse story (pre Marvel) Loki makes a bet with the Dwarven brothers Sindri and Brokkr that they couldn’t make items (for the gods) more beautiful than those of Ivaldi’s sons. The bet is accepted and the two brothers begin working on three precious items. The first was a magic boar for Freyr, the second was Draupnir, Odin’s golden ring that makes duplicates from itself every ninth night. The third was an iron hammer that went to Thor, but with a shortened handle, making it a one handed hammer, due to Loki’s mischievous involvement in it’s creation.

The hammer is incredible powerful with its enchantments: no living being may lift the hammer unless deemed worthy by Odin or if they simply are worthy enough; it returns to the exact spot from which it is thrown and returns to Thor when summoned. You hear Thor yelling for it, “HAMMER!…. HAMMER!” when he finds himself on Midgard/Earth. In the comics, Thor can summon the elements of storm (lightning, wind, and rain) by stamping Mjölnir’s handle twice on the ground, it can manipulate the weather on an almost global scale, and even open interdimensional portals, allowing its wielder to travel to other dimensions (such as from Earth to Asgard) however in the movie, travel between Asgard and Earth is necessitated through Heimdallr opening the Bifrost brigde.

Also in the comics, is the inscription on the side of the hammer, “Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor.” Though not in the movie, we see Anthony Hopkins/Odin speak the words to Mjölnir when Thor is banished to Earth.

The Warriors Three - Thor’s three friends, and Sif, did complete justice to the Marvel comics. Fandral (Joshua Dallas), Volstagg (Ray Stevenson), and Hogun (Tadanabu Asano) and Sif (Jaimie Alexander) were perfect for the parts. Most impressive was Jaimie’s portrayal of Sif, the warrior “goddess” who is a love interest of Thor’s (in the comics), though takes a back seat to Earthling Natalie Portman in the movie.

You know how sometimes girls act tough in movies, how sometimes they just can’t quite pull it off? You know what I mean, every now and then a girl in a fight scene ends up looking awkward, like she’s throwing a baseball with her left hand, it just isn’t right, not convincing, she’s “acting.” Well not Jaimie Alexander! She rocked her role as Sif and was totally into character while fighting Frost Giants, enough so that Xena would have been proud. I loved seeing her in action. Plus she’s absolutely hot!

The movie was overall, very well done. The costumes, the acting, the funny scenes, the storyline itself, all of it was good. OH! I almost forgot. HOLY CRAP. I loved the seeing the Hawkeye cameo. Yeah, sure it was gratuitous and unnecessary, but was still cool. And for all of you recurve geeks out there, notice Hawkeye’s bow of choice was a wicked looking compound bow with tons of bells and whistles on it. The movie was well worth the money, though having seeing it in 2D, I can tell you, none of us were disappointed and we saved about $15 bucks in the process. The movie is entertaining and pays proper homage to the comics. I give it a good 9 out of 10.

- Ronando

Tags: Chris Hemsworth, Mjölnir, Natalie Portman, Thor
Posted in Movie Review, Movies, TV | 3 Comments »

MARVEL WTF ARE YOU THINKING???

Friday, January 21st, 2011

written by Ronando

Dear Marvel;

If this is real, assuming that it is, and it’s just god awful enough to be real, do you idiots go out of your frackin’ way to screw shite up? What, WHAT in thee HELL are you thinking? Are you unable to see what’s wrong here? Ugh, there’s just so much that’s bad here, I don’t even know where to start.

Sure you fooled us with the image below, sure we could have accepted the altered costume and funky stuff on the abs, and we could have even been talked into no red waist band, and even your OH-SO-WRONG WEB-SHOOTERS, but, the travesty that you have above is just unprecedented horse crap.

Get with it! Start making some serious geek worthy films on a continuous basis or get the hell out of dodge.

Recent addition: In light of everyone whining, “But it’s SONY who’s responsible, not Marvel! SONY OWNS the license, blah blah blah, without any consideration to the role Marvel plays in responsibility and accountability. Our lawyer verified our initial statement that as the actual license OWNER, Marvel has final say in what happens to their intellectual property. Sony is just “renting” the option to make a Spider-Man movie. ANYTHING SONY does HAS TO be verified and approved by Marvel.

“I would agree with you that ULTIMATELY the Licensor retains approval over any products / properties, such as films, that the Licensee wishes to create and market. Merely having a license gives Licensee’s unlimited or unrestricted APPROVAL rights over the end products. Licensors generally very carefully monitor product development and contractually retain the rights to check off on all final products PRIOR to their release. Most contracts have language to that effect.”

Tags: Spider-Man, Spider-Man Reboot, spiderman
Posted in Movies | 27 Comments »

X-Men: First Class – Will It Be Classy, Or Just Trashy?!?!

Saturday, December 4th, 2010

X-Men: First Class The Movie

By Douglas Appich

It is no secret that, in the last year or two, Marvel Studios (the production company that has produced almost every movie in the last twelve years that’s based on a Marvel Comics character) has had major casting problems with many of it’s film franchises. In the last two years alone, we have seen actors from several franchises miscast in roles and even fired and/or replaced.

These “casting carousels” have, in my opinion, hurt the consistency and quality of Marvel’s most popular film franchises. Before going into some of the potential casting issues that could take place in the upcoming X-Men film from Marvel Studios, X-Men: First Class, I want to go over several of Marvel Studios’ many casting fiascoes within the last couple years to give you an idea of what I’m talking about:

Terrance Howard Fired: No War Machine For You

The Iron Man Franchise – The casting issues with this franchise started when Terrance Howard was cast as James Rhodes (a.k.a. War Machine) in the first Iron Man film in 2008. Not only did he have very few scenes in the film, but he was quickly fired from his role after the movie ended, which you can read about here. Don Cheadle played the role of James Rhodes in this year’s Iron Man 2, replacing Howard. Howard said Marvel Studios did not give him an explanation as to why he was fired, and fans have not been given an explanation either.

I’ve never been a Terrance Howard fan, but if someone is fired from a job, don’t you think they deserve to know why?! [editor's note: does that mean he gets unemployment like the rest us when fired?] We have heard rumors that the director Jon Favreau did not like working with Howard and did not think he was right for the role of James Rhodes. But if he wasn’t right for the role, why couldn’t Marvel Studios figure this out before he was cast in the first film? Marvel still owes both fans and Terrance Howard an explanation for this casting change.

Ed Norton: Hulk Deux

The Hulk Franchise - Wow, where to start with this mess of a franchise?! In 2003, Marvel Studios released the Ang Lee directed [editor's note: ... ptew!!] film Hulk to lukewarm reviews. Eric Bana played Bruce Banner/Hulk in this film but since the movie did not do as well as Marvel expected, Marvel Studios decided to fire the entire cast and “reboot” the Hulk franchise with a new cast in the 2008 film, The Incredible Hulk starring Edward Norton and Liv Tyler.

However, this past July, Marvel Studios’ president Kevin Feige announced that the Hulk franchise was going to be rebooted again, because the studio did not feel that Edward Norton was the right actor to play Hulk, which you can read about here. Once again, Marvel Studios, here is my question for you: “If Edward Norton wasn’t the right actor to play the Hulk, then why did you cast him in the first place?!” [editor's note: ... idiots!]

Aw Jeeze

The Spider-Man Franchise – Too many casting problems to list. I will save this discussion for another blog.

X-Men: First Class

So now, we have a new Marvel Studios’ film coming out on June 3, 2011, which will be an addition to the popular X-Men film franchise – X-Men: First Class. This movie is supposed to be a prelude to the first three X-Men films Marvel Studios’ made (X-Men, X-Men 2, and X-Men: The Last Stand). It is about Charles Xavier and his early years with the X-Men. However, I am already beginning to see many of the same casting issues that have come to be a staple characteristic of films produced by Marvel Studios. Let’s go over them, shall we:

January Jones (Mad Men): Emma Frost

Emma Frost/White Queen played by January Jones: Surprise, surprise! We have another casting issue! Apparently, hottie actress Alice Eve was slated to play the mutant telepath Emma Frost, but quit the role while the movie was in production because she had problems with the script, which you can read about here. So, at the last minute, Marvel Studios got January Jones to play the role. I do not know much about Jones, so I won’t comment on her. [editor's note: January is a smokin' hot babe who plays Betty Draper, the prettiest, nicest women on Mad Men series on TV.] But the fact that Alice Eve quit the role while the movie was in production should be a huge red flag to anyone and everyone that’s been paying attention to movies recently.

Kevin Bacon: Sebastian Shaw

Sebastian Shaw played by Kevin Bacon: Ummm… no? Seriously, are you kidding me, Marvel Studios?! KEVIN BACON AS SEBASTIAN SHAW?! Don’t get me wrong, Kevin Bacon plays a great villain, but the kind of villains he’s great at playing are psychotic rednecks like the ones he played in River Wild and Trapped. Sebastian Shaw may be a mutant villain who can absorb energy, but he is also a sophisticated aristocrat. What he IS NOT, is the white trash villain that Kevin Bacon knows how to play oh-so-well. Not to mention the fact that Kevin Bacon doesn’t even look like an aristocrat. Kevin Bacon looks like the kind of blue collar, Average Joe you would have drinks with at the bar after work. He does not even look like he is remotely capable of playing an evil mutant billionaire. I predict that this is going to go terribly wrong in so many different ways.

James McAvoy as Professor Charles Xavier: You’ll remember McAvoy from The Chronicles of Narnia, The Last King of Scotland and Wanted. Four words: NO, NO, AND $#^% NO!!!!! I do not even know where to start with this one. For one, the guy does not look anything like Charles Xavier. He has hair! Sure he plays a great Mr. Tumnus, and an awesome assassin, but … he has hair. Maybe I just need to go back and read my Uncanny X-Men back issues to see, but from what I remember, Charles Xavier did not have hair when he founded the X-Men. In fact, he hasn’t had hair since he was a teenager; he lost all of his hair as soon as his telepathic powers started to manifest.

James McAvoy: Charles Xaver

So where does Marvel Studios get off trying to sell us a Professor Xavier with hair?! It’s possible that James McAvoy could shave his head or wear a bald cap, but we already know that he isn’t really bald, so it won’t even be believable. At least Patrick Stewart was naturally bald when he played Xavier.

Then, you have the age problem: James McAvoy is only 31-years-old! Granted, 31 is not that young, but the fact is that McAvoy has the baby face of a fifteen-year-old. He doesn’t look any older than his X-Men students. Are we really expected to believe that a guy who doesn’t even look old enough to shave has enough money and prestige to own a mansion, start his own school, and possess a kick-ass computer like Cerebro that is capable of discovering any mutant on the planet?! Sorry, Marvel, not buying it!

Erik Lensherr/Magneto played by Michael Fassbender: Remember, he played that long haired hippie in Frank Miller’s 300 and Lt. Hicox in Inglourious Basterds. Okay, this casting decision is a little easier for me to accept. For one, Fassbender is German, and Magneto is German, in real life, which people always seem to forget. [editor's note: ... idiots]

My only problem with Fassbender as Magneto is that, like Kevin Bacon, he just doesn’t look evil. When I think of an evil mutant who has the power of magnetism, I think of someone who is supposed to be scary. Heck, Magneto destroyed a submarine with over 100 people on it, he’s one, evil, scary dude! But Fassbender looks like he should be on the cover of GQ magazine. He doesn’t have any kind of edginess to his appearance that would make me think he was a bad guy.

Michael Fassbender: Magneto

Alex Summers/Havok played by Lucas Till: Hey, Marvel, Glee called, and they want their high school musical star, Chris Colfer back. Seriously, Lucas Till looks like he jumped, sashayed right out of Glee, making tween girls scream throughout the country.

Lucas Till: Alex Summers/Havok

Well, never mind then. All jokes aside, though, there is just no way that I can take this guy seriously as a bad-ass mutant with the ability to shoot bursts of plasma energy. The only power Lucas Till might have, might, is the ability to make women drop their panties with a smile.

Not to mention the fact that, in the comics, in reality, Alex Sumers/Havok is actually Scott Summers/Cyclops’ younger brother and does not join the X-Men until long after Cyclops joins. But Cyclops is not going to even be in this movie, so somehow Havok is going to join the team before his older brother does, despite the fact that this contradicts pretty much everything about the original comic books. Is anyone else as annoyed by this as I am?

So, after analyzing the cast of X-Men: First Class, I can only come up with one conclusion: this movie is going to suck… hard! And continuously! Aside from the terrible casting choices that I mentioned, this movie does not even have Scott Summers (Cyclops), Jean Grey (Marvel Girl), or Bobby Drake (Iceman) in it, the very characters that were the first to join the team.

How can anyone make a movie about the early days of the X-Men without including the first X-Men that the comic is based on?! I predict the best actor in this movie will be Alice Eve, because she was smart enough to leave the film as soon as she read the script! Don’t worry: as soon as the movie is released and Marvel Studios realizes how bad it is, I am sure they won’t waste any time denouncing every actor in the film and “rebooting” the entire franchise. It wouldn’t be the first time they’ve done something like this, as we saw with the Hulk movies.

So, how about it, fellow comic geeks? Do you agree or disagree with the casting choices of X-Men: First Class? Is this movie going to suck as bad as I think it does, or am I over-exaggerating and just way off target? What do YOU think?

Tags: Havoc, Magneto, X-Men, X-MEN: FIRST CLASS
Posted in Merchandise, Movies | 31 Comments »

Batman Under The Red Hood – The Animated Film

Wednesday, August 25th, 2010

Red Hood

The Red Hood first appeared in Detective Comics #168 (1951), “The Man Behind the Red Hood”. In the original story, the man who is to later become the Joker was a master criminal known as the Red Hood. His costume was a large domed red helmet that looked like an eraser with a matching red cape. While attempting to rob a chemical plant, his men were killed and he was suddenly cornered on a catwalk by Batman.

Left with no alternatives, he dove into a catch basin full of chemicals and swam to freedom. He survived due to a conveniently breathing apparatus built into his helmet, however the toxic chemicals in the vat permanently discolored him, turning his hair green, his skin white and his lips red. Upon discovering this, he went insane, and adopted the persona of the Joker.

However, Alan Moore wrote an alternate origin of the Joker in “Batman: The Killing Joke,” in 1988. In Moore’s fantastic, retcon change to the already accepted Batman universe, the Red Hood is portrayed as a former chemical engineer, who is also a struggling stand-up comedian with a pregnant wife. He is approached by the Red Hood gang who want him to lead them through the chemical plant he once worked at, so they can rob the card factory next door. He reluctantly accepts, in order to make enough money to start a better life for his family.

The gang gives him the costume of the Red Hood. The day of the proposed robbery police inform him that his wife died in a freak accident. He attempts to back out of the robbery, but the gang strong-arms him into keeping his commitment. During the robbery, the plant’s security men spot the intruders and shoot the other criminals dead. The engineer tries to flee, but Batman appears and corners him on the plant’s catwalk. Terrified, he jumps off the catwalk into the chemical basin to escape. As in the previous origin story, he goes insane after discovering what the chemicals have done to his face, and becomes the Joker. The Joker himself is reluctant to admit that this iteration of his story is definitive, stating: “Sometimes I remember it one way, sometimes another… if I’m going to have a past, I prefer it to be multiple choice!”

Under The Red Hood
In this recent storyline, a new Red Hood appears in Gotham, written by Judd Winick. To brush up on a bit of history, in 1988 “Batman: A Death in the Family” was written by Jim Starlin where Robin #2, Jason Todd was brutally killed by The Joker. Writer Judd Winick, reintroduces the Red Hood but this time the Red Hood is revealed to be the resurrected Jason Todd out for revenge.

The new Red Hood, who kills as easily as any criminal, assumes control over various gangs in Gotham City and starts a one-man war against Black Mask’s criminal empire. He actively tries to cleanse the city of corruption, such as the illegal drug trade and gang violence, but in a violent, antiheroic way. He eventually comes to blows against Batman and other heroes.

The video is actually well worth watching. The Joker’s voice takes some getting used to, but the storyline and art are excellent.

Text borrowed from wikipedia
- RL

Tags: Batman, Under The Red Hood
Posted in Comic Books, Conventions, Memorable Superhero Moments, Movies, Superheroes, TV | 1 Comment »

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