Chris Evans, the comedic Human Torch in both Fantastic Four movies, is filling the boots of Steve Rogers/Captain America. Evans signed for at least three Captain America films as well as 2012′s “The Avengers,” which will bring together Evans’ Captain America Robert Downey Jr.’s Iron Man, Ed Norton’s the Incredible Hulk and Chris Hemsworth’s Thor.
Paramount is backing the first Cap movie “The First Avenger: Captain America,” but it’s directed by Joe Johnson, the guy who brought us 2010′s “The Wolfman” (Rotten Tomatoes RT:32) which apparently sucked raw eggs through a nasty bung hole! Captain America is scheduled to hit screens July 22, 2011, (yeah baby!) but COME ON… Joe Johnson??
I don’t have anything against this guy, other than he’s slated to make the Cap movie and I’ve never heard of him until I googled his butt, and a quick perusal of his past work on IMDB.com shows that the last time this guy ever sat behind a camera was friggin’ Hidalgo, (RT: 46), the story about the white half Indian horse rider starring Aragorn from LOTR, which didn’t totally suck but COME ON! that was in 2004! What the hell?! Where’s Johnson been these LAST 6 YEARS?
It gets better, the last movie before that was Jurassic Park III, (RT: 49) in 2001. Oh Jesus Christ! This movie better not suck. You haven’t seen angry until until you’ve seen 15 million angry, fat, disillusioned comic book geeks crawl out of their mother’s basement all jacked up on, Mt. Dew and Hot Pockets, to voice their expert dissent and disappointment at some director or actor totally FING up a superhero movie. It ain’t pretty. This better not suck!
Enough of my whining… Hugo Weaving (V, Mr. Smith (in The Matrix), Elrond LOTR) is s’posed to play the Cap’s arch-nemesis and Nazi butt hole/criminal mastermind Red Skull, which is a FANTASTIC pick. I can’t wait to see him all in red bloody makeup!
“Who’s the Red Skull?” you ask? Well, if you’re not a comic book geek, then this gets complicated. Hell, I read comics and I still don’t fully understand it completely. See, there were three Red Skulls, apparently there was a drop in comic readership so Marvel needed more bad guys to spur sales.
The first two Red Skulls were Nazi agents and the third is a goddamn Communist… (word is we should expect the fourth to be a radical knife wielding Muslim). The Red Skull was first introduced in1941 in Captain America Comics #1. The first Red Skull was an American industrialist turned butt hole Nazi saboteur. The second Red Skull was just a long-time enemy of Captain America, something about sleeping with his ex or something.
The third Red Skull is the one behind the deaths of Peter Parker’s (Spider-Man) parents, which resulted in Peter being orphaned to then live under Aunt May and Uncle Ben’s roof, to later date a girl who was killed by either Green Goblin or Spidey himself, to eventually marry smokin’ hot supermodel MJ but then loose her to Mephisto changing reality taking it all back just so Spidey can save Aunt May who’s been shot, all after he came out of the superhero closet. .. told you it was confusing. Marvel will never, ever, EVER let poor Peter have an easy life. That poor sap.
Well, according to S.H.I.E.L.D. files, Johann Schmidt, (the original and current Red Skull) “is considered one of the greatest threats to humanity.” Guess someone should just give the Joker a crowbar, pistol and camera and Red Skull’s address and send him on his way to take care of ol big bad Red.
Regarding Steve Roger’s loveinterest, the role of the Cap’s
sweetheart, Peggy Carter , is going to come down to choice between Alice Eve (She’s Out of My League) and Hayley Atwell (British actress from critically-acclaimed films like The Duchess and Mansfield Park – as well as parts in the TV events The Prisoner and The Pillars of Earth.)
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