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Posts Tagged ‘Superhero Body’

Superhero Picture Of The Day – 02.03.09 – Lucy Pinder Is Supergirl

Tuesday, February 3rd, 2009
Lucy Pinder is Supergirl You can call her at 867-5309

Lucy Pinder is Supergirl You can call her at 867-5309

Lucy Pinderis just your average “girl next door” hottie that is secretly a superhero with a FANTASIC body. Absolutely beautiful. Everything about this woman is perfect. Stunning! Her face, her hair, look at those doe eyes… sigh…… Do you know how many months of Jazzercise and Tai-Bo it would take to get abs like that? I bet she hasn’t had a carb since 2004! Everything down to her French Manicure just smacks of beauty.  And that shirt!

I also love what she’s done with our Superman shirt. Aside from the fact that it’s a kid’s youth Superman shirt she has fashionably cut it in half and dropped the bottom down a bit to be used as a skirt. God that’s sexy. I’ve never seen that done before. Now, why the hell don’t women look like this in real life??? Yeah, sure she has the Supergirl, $10,000 boob job, but come on! The rest is all hard work, sweat and tears!

Look, yeah sure guys don’t have superhero bodies. In fact, most guys are fat slobs who watch Nascar, Futurama and Survivor and yell at the tv while their wives go out and cheat on them. They literally go out of their way to get fat! You don’t just accidentally get up to 300 pounds!

Yeah, sure there’s a double standard that fat bastard, misogynistic, porno reading, horn-dogs expect all women to be porn stars at home, on the street, at work and pretty much everywhere we go… like at the supermarket, 7-11, the car wash, girl next door, yaddy yaddy yaddy, all the while getting fat, drinking beer and becoming stereotypical slobs.

But if that’s the case… then why the hell do you crazy women put up with it? You accept it!! In fact.. you reinforce this slovenly attitude by actually marrying these guys! Who’s the idiot now? Huh? Look, I have said for YEARS that “I’ve never met a guy who was too much of an asshole to not havea girlfriend.” For those of you who are double negatively impaired, this means that the more of an asshole guys are, the higher the chance he’ll have a girlfriend. Who’s fault is that?

Supply and demand ladies! Cut demand for these guys and the supply of fat slobs will drop. As an old girlfriend once said, “My mom always told me that she could line up 100 nice guys in a row and one asshole, and I’ll go RIGHT for the asshole!” Go figure. I bet that loser has a leather jacket, motorcycle, no checking account and a beer in one hand and hasn’t shaved in a week to look like Sawyer on Lost. Come on ladies… be real. You’re lying if you’re saying you wouldn’t sleep with Sawyer over Jack.

Take gay men for example. I have yet to meet a gay guy who was narcissistic and arrogant enough to not have a boyfriend. … again, for the double negatively impaired, these guys are totally into looking and feeling good. They’re total elitist snobs and they don’t care because they know that in the end, they look better than us, “I don’t care what you think because you’re overweight, your shirt is dated and your shoes are dirty so anything coming out of your puny little mouth is completely invalidated, talk to the hand.”

You never see two gays look trashy, fat or dirty. They simply have too high a standard. (I can say this because my best friend, Josh, is gay. I can also say “taco bender” because I’m half Mexican, but I don’t like saying it because it’s not funny and it’s stupid. And Beaner sounds so much better. But I can’t say ni%%er. Don’t like saying it either.  Too much social white guilt going around for me to feel comfortable saying it. But I think I can get away with “nigga-please!” Damn that’s funny, but I don’t have any black friends to try it on. Pretty hard to find black friends in Lake Oswego, Oregon. Damn this place is white, it’s cracker white! … Wonder Bread white! If you get too much of a suntan the cops start pulling you over. So, I can say black, but that’s just because “African American” is just too PC-stupid. But I digress.)

… where the hell was I? … Oh yeah, women who date assholes and fat men. So, yeah, I think I can ask women to look like Lucy Pinder, simply because I’m trying to build my own superhero body. If I can do it, you can do it. Come on!.. being a woman is no excuse for not getting in shape. I work hard every other day lifting, doing push-ups, crunches, squats and now pull ups, etc. So, let’s all look at Lucy Pinder as a perfect example of what we should ameliorate ourselves to. Hot, Healthy and Sexy!

Lucy Pinder’s my hero. Too bad we all can’t have bodies like her.

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Superhero Body Workout

Wednesday, January 21st, 2009
Superhero Body Workout - Week 3

Superhero Body Workout - Week 3

Ok, so if you’ve been tracking our little blog, you’ll probably remember way back on Jan 3rd “Superhero Bar”  that I got the new, highspeed PX90 Chin-Up bar to work out my lats. Since then, I’ve not only been on my way to obtaining the superhero body I’ve always wanted, but I’ve also gotten my wife in on the work out as well.

The last thing I want to do is pay money to a gym that I’ll never go to since the 2nd to last thing I want to do is get in my friggin’ car, in the rain, fight (pay) for parking, get a stupid locker, then work out for 30 minutes because the initial 30 minutes were lost looking for a damn parking spot, only to find that I’m more stressed out after my workout than I was before starting.

So, the only way I can get a superhero body is by working out at home. Now, granted that I have a degree in biology, understand the concepts of aerobic and anaerobic workout, negatives, positives, fast twitch and slow twitch and all that jazz including stupid lactic acid, I’ve come to the conclusion that exercising is comprised of three simple components.

  1.  Burn more calories than you consume. Basic common sense. Just get off your fat butt and move.
  2. Work to failure. None of this mamby-pamby workout where you’re not working up a sweat. you push yourself until your dead and you then do one more set then roll over and die.
  3. Persistancy and Consistency - You keep it up every week and don’t let up. After 3 weeks, you’ve finally developed a “Good Habit.”Â

My superhero workout consists of 4 basic exercises done three days/week.

  1. Push-Ups: I do 6-8 sets, each set to failure. No more than 2 minutes rest in between each set. Then, wait a full 15 minutes and then do two more sets. Keep track in an excel spreadsheet and add one more rep to each set you do.
  2. Sit-Ups: 5 sets. I do a 25/30/25/25/30 formula and then again, add one more each day to each of the reps. Again, track on your excel sheet.
  3. Pull-Ups: This is where the beauty of my new PX90 Chin-Up bar comes in handy. I propped that baby up in the bathroom doorway, drilled in a couple extra screws into the door frame and I was good to go. Only thing is that I can’t do enough max reps without assistance so I get my wife to help out be decreasing my weight by holding my shins up a bit. Works like a charm. I do three sets, right now I’m at about 10/9/8. After another 2 weeks I’ll increase it to 5 sets.
  4. Then bicep curls. I have a set of 13 pound dumbbells (actually a set of 5 lb and 8 lbs that I taped together. Works like a charm). I do 4 sets, again to max. These are great during phone conferences. .. except I tend to loose count when I’m arguing with the friggin’ warehouse about lost Wonder Woman undies.

So, by the end of June, I’ll have my Superhero Body. Believe you me both. Oh, workout schedule is Saturday/Monday and Wednesday. Stay posted.

Picture of the day 1.2.09 – The PX90 Superhero Bar

Saturday, January 3rd, 2009

Ever since I was a kid, after watching Bruce Lee in Enter The Dragon, I’ve always wanted to have that cobra back that Bruce had. GOD, what a stud.  His back just resinated with pure power, total virility. What a stud! Now I’m finally taking the plunge into fitness with the goal of obtaining the ultimate superhero body at home.

I initially started the 100 push-up routine, where you follow the regime for 6 weeks and in the end you’re able to do 100 push-ups, but, I’m already in week 4 and I’m nowhere near doing 100 push-ups. I can only do a pathetic 55 before collapsing in a heap of weaping and blubbering pain.Â

So, I’m upping my exercise regime. I just forked over the money and purchased the PX90 Chin-Up bar at Beachbody.com. My wife and I, she’s also doing the 100 push-up plan, along with the 100 sit-up plan (that I invented) right along with me, we were comparing chin-up bars on-line and the PX90 seemed to have a lot going on with the design. Plus they had a video that sold me on it as well. So, I just finished placing the order and we should be having Christmas all over again by next Thursday. I can’t wait.

So, the plan is that, by the end of summer ’09 I’ll have a total beach body! On top of that, since I’m suffering from low back pain and sciatica, I’m going to prove that it’s possible to not only overcome low back pain with exercise but that it’s still possible to obtain a Superhero Body through good old fashioned hard work, sweat, determination and $65! The picture on the book below, Healing Back Pain by Dr. John Sarno, is exactly what I’ll have by the end of summer. Stay tuned for weekly results as I head on the road in obtaining the superhero body!

Healing back pain book