You obviously can't dodge a koopa.

I say this because you keep tripping over them and not jumping over them.

The image adorning our Nintendo Super Mario Bros. Game Over Men's Sweatshirt? That's you after about 15 seconds into a game of Super Mario Bros.

Made from 50% cotton and 50% polyester, this thick, black Nintendo sweatshirt features a purposely distressed, purposely pixelated image of Mario meeting his 8-bit maker.

Perfect for celebrating the 456,000 times you killed Mario in a realm where death is undone with a single button push, this very warm Nintendo sweatshirt reminds one to avoid sewer systems teeming with toe-savaging turtle-things.