A Real Radioactive Spider

$616.00
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Straight from Oscorp’s bleeding edge genetic research division (aka, secret, unapproved variation of the Super-Soldier Program [see “Operation: Rebirth”]), it’s an odd-colored, red and blue, dangerously radioactive spider!

Manufactured to provide webbing with superior tensile strength while perfecting the creation of insects colored in ridiculously bright hues to match your wallpaper, this gorgeous, primary-colored spider with a metal-liquefying aura is perfect for…uh…. keeping in a glass terrarium and enjoying from afar? Perhaps, but it needs to be an especially durable terrarium.

Of course, it’s highly recommend you NEVER handle the Spider. As in EVER. A few reported cases have determined that bites from cloned, consumer grade test subject #42 have resulted in mild fevers, cold sweats, full spatial awareness, superhuman strength, spontaneous web dispersal from the wrists, mouth and anus, limited prescience, enhanced agility and flexibility, the ability to cling to any surface, and a magnified, crippling sense of responsibility.

APRIL FOOLS

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